I received some feedback on my latest post about cooking and... oh no, punk memoirs again!

I have always been one to take charge of the kitchen at our punk parties and stuff, either the ones we made in our city, or when we went to other cities to play or just watch a show, it was usually at someone's place, some shared house, some squat or warehouse, we'd usually crash there after the party, and if the place had a kitchen I'd cook... well, it was always a collaborative/collective thing, but I'd take charge because lots of people can't cook for shit! I guess because lots of us were young and still had their parents cooking for them, and sexist norms that cooking is a women's skill so lots of guys never learn how to cook and live on instant noodles, but filling up on snacks or gas station food after a gig is expensive and we were always broke as fuck, so if we could just cook some rice, potatoes, beans, that's what we'd do because you could make a lot spending very little and it's heavy stuff that really fills you up, so when we were making a party in a place that had a kitchen I'd get food ready for the bands and the people from other cities that would crash there too, and of course for us, and not to mention every penny we didn't spend on food was a penny we could spend on booze... there was one benefit event we made on a community centre with local bands we put on for a local nursing home where the entrance fee was a kilo of non-perishable food, and we spent the whole afternoon there, first getting the place ready, then playing and partying, and after the party we cleaned up the place. We were exhausted and starving, and we didn't think twice, the place had a kitchen so we stole some pasta and sauce from the donations... too bad we didn't take salt as donation though... there was also this one time we played in a shared house in another city and were going to crash there, we took a bag of flour with us because we wanted to make glue to plaster some stuff around the city later, and when we came back, early hours of the morning, everyone starving, the only thing edible in the house was chocolate powder, so we made porridge with the rest of the flour... if only we had milk... we did it with water and it was awful (basically flour glue with chocolate, but we ate it lol). Those stories aren't always glorious... but anyway, Cook It Yourself!

There is actually one of these parties that I happen to have a picture of us cooking, but I have no idea who took all the pictures I have of that day (again, this is way before cellphones with cameras being common, so pictures of our days were uncommon, and I doubt any of us even had a cellphone there).
There was this one band we knew that we had playing in our city before, they were going to play with a few other bands in another city that wasn't very far, so we decided to go, but turns out it was very troublesome to reach there because it was a very small town, like 20k people, and there weren't many buses that would pass there and we had to find a city that had a bus that would go there and also the right time for us to arrive at that city to be able to get the bus to the other... in the end just a friend and I were going, but I put a notice on an Orkut community to whoever wanted to go too, that we would be at the bus station at x hour.
The gig was on September 7th, our independence day, and every independence day whatever party that is running the city goes to spend public resources on some patriotic brainwashing to gather party support, and of course every September 7th we'd be there to tell them to go fuck themselves, so we decided we were going to do our demonstration there, just my friend and I, so the night before we went out stealing some banners on the streets so we could use them - there are ads in the front, but not in the back.
At x hour we were taking the bus, a girl I had never seen before, who had seen my post, showed up and went with us. Cool, the more the merrier. When we arrived in the city there was a guy we had never seen before waiting for us at the bus station too, he had also seen my post on the internet and knew we were coming, and he invited us to go have breakfast at his place. We met other people, including the guy that was organizing the gig... man, I just love this of the underground, again, at least in my geographical scope, everyone was so welcoming, you'd go to a place knowing no one and end up spending a great time with friends.

I'm censoring every face in the pictures but I guess I don't have to censor mine since I'm already displaying it in the sidebar here... oh, that's me getting a mohawk up with soap - in case you were curious about how it's done. (ps: The month/day time stamps on the pictures are wrong)
So anyway, we headed back downtown and made our banners, we were also carrying spray paint for it, and spent a portion of the day being a sore sight in the eyes of a hypocrite society. The last picture with those blackbars I have even less idea of who took it because it wasn't among the ones I had found on Orkut before on the profiles of people that were there, I actually found it later out of nowhere on Indy Media showing demonstrations that happened that day, and in that one you can see a party propaganda van passing by us.

So it was time to head to the place the gig was taking place, a union hall in the industrial district outside of town, and we stopped at a grocery store to pick up supplies. They wanted to buy snacks, but I just asked "Wait, does the place have a kitchen?", so we stocked up on real food and headed there, always walking because it's free. So we helped get the place ready with the sound equipment and stuff, set up the zine table, and started cooking tons of food that was for us now but also for later after the gig and for the bands and whoever else wanted to eat. Yep, this whole post was for this single picture of punks cooking.

So then this thing happened, a woman showed up, she asked if that was the place where there was going to be a party, asked some other questions and hanged around for a bit, we asked if she wanted to have lunch with us because we were making food, but she said no and left. Some 20min later she showed up with the police saying I was the guy they were looking for (that woman was a social worker scoping us out)... so here's the thing, it wasn't just that girl and that other guy that saw my post on the internet, that girl's parents also saw it, and she didn't tell them she was going to travel with strangers to some other city (the social worker was actually looking for the girl, but she identified me as the one who "took" her - and also the friend that came with me, because I mentioned he was also going in the post), and the other problem is that I had been 18 for a bit more than a month already, and my other friend was also 18, but the girl was 15, so now we were commiting a crime and we were arrested!
lol for real, but we weren't really arrested, perhaps detained is the right word? They took us to the police station, fucking all the way back downtown, and made us sign a police report and wait there for about 2h until they let us go... the girl, however, had to wait there for her parents to pick her up. In the meantime a heavy rain started and we walked back to the industrial district at night in the rain... we got there and there were more people but no band had arrived, turns out the rain was being very heavy in the whole region and some shit happened on the highways and some were closed, there were no buses and all the bands were from outside. It was close to midnight already and we had given up hope, but out of nowhere a car parked outside and it was the band Atestado de Revolta to save our night!

It wasn't a gig anymore, just a small party between friends, they had just a short set but they played for like two hours trying to play every cover they could remember, random people that were there also went on stage to play some songs, there were some guys there that had a metal band and they played some of their songs too, all using the Atestado de Revolta instruments. Oh, and we also had a surprise and I was very happy that they showed up because I knew they had a song called Maldito Imperialismo Americano so that night before, when we were stealing banners, we also stole an American flag from an English school just so we could burn it at the gig when they played that song hahaha

And hey, we were trapped far from everywhere because of the rain so everyone slept on the floor there, but no one went hungry for there was food for everyone!

We got arrested, we had to walk who knows how much in the rain in the dark, it seemed like the gig was dead, the day had everything to go sour, but it turned out great. I don't think I ever saw that girl again. We later had to appear before a judge who tried to scare us reading a bunch of laws saying how we could spend years in prison for corrupting and coercing minors blah blah blah, but they actually had nothing on us. I don't mind the trouble, I just hope she had fun on her rebellious day.



edit 2026/04/05: Looking at other pictures I have, I saw one guy that is only in one of them and I remembered who he was. All those pictures with time stamps were by him - if I recall correctly his name is Guilherme. The two others without time stamps, and the one with lesser quality that I found on Indy Media, no idea.



ps: If you want to see more posts like this, there is one full of pictures of different punk gigs and talking more about my "geographical scope" three posts below - or just click the punk tag in the side menu and check what else is there.

I bought stuff to cook last week but I was too lazy and kept just making sandwiches and ordering food, but today I decided to cook it all. I started around 19:00 but I was only done with the kitchen after midnight (so I'm writing on Friday, but this is about Thursday). My dinner in the picture: brown rice, beans, sautéed corn, sautéed collard greens, roasted cabbage, roasted cassava, vinagrete, lettuce and radicchio salad, homemade mayonnaise and hot sauce... 10 homemade items!

I didn't take pictures of the making, but I have pictures here I saved long ago so I decided to post them now, my favorite condiments: hot sauce and mayonnaise. Starting with the hot sauce, I kinda eye the amount of garlic, but chop in big pieces half an onion, two tomatoes, and, well, a bunch of peppers... you decide how hot you want the sauce - this one wasn't much for me, usually I put more peppers. Secos & Molhados playing Sangue Latino (1973)

Oh yeah, let's not forget the playlist. So, in the past I used to roast the ingredients in a big frying pan or in the oven, but since I got an air fryer I've been using that instead. I put the ingredients in order of juiciness though, because if I put the garlic on top it will just burn, so they go on the bottom because all the water from the other stuff will cover it and it will cook instead, so the order I put them in is garlic > onions > peppers > tomatoes. Ednardo playing Enquanto Engoma a Calça (1979)

When the tomatoes start to burn it means it's good. Jair Rodrigues playing Disparada by Geraldo Vandré (1966)

Then I put it all in the blender with about 1/4 cup of a mild vinegar (I use rice vinegar), 1/2 cup of olive oil and a pinch of salt. Djalma Dias playing Capitão de Indústria by Marcos Valle & Paulo Sérgio Valle (1972)

And voilà! - did I mention I like my sauce like I like my women? Thick!

So now the mayonnaise. If you never tried homemade mayonnaise you don't know what you are missing, they are very easy to make and those industrial crap can't compare to it. Paulinho da Viola playing Pecado Capital (1975)

So to make about 500ml of mayo I use two eggs, 2 tablespoons of either a mild vinegar or lemon/lime (I'm using rice vinegar there), a pinch of salt, and 400ml of oil (I'm using canola - what the fuck, this is called rapeseed in English? lol). I'm putting 2 tablespoons of dijon mustard, I think it adds a lot of flavor, especially if you are using vinegar instead of lemon/lime, and no, it doesn't get a mustard taste. Garlic (instead of dijon) also goes great, and you can also use chives... well, add paprika, I don't know, use your imagination! Di Melo playing Conformópolis (1975)

And just put everything in a blender (I'm using a hand blender). And that's it. Easy as fuck. You are never eating industrial crap again.


edit 2026/04/04: decided to take another picture of the food, this is after two people dining twice, so we probably have food for the week.

Early March I was having a lot of trouble sleeping, it was probably me adapting to the medication I'm taking. I was a bit cranky because of it, but after that, whoever asked me how I was I gave the same answer: I'm pretty neutral.
I'm not particularly happy, excited, or having joy in anything, but also not feeling anything bad or being too anxious. Yeah, I'm frustrated with a thing or two, angry about a thing or two, worried about a thing or two, but nothing out of the ordinary or emotionally unmanageable, and I guess a result of not feeling much of anything is that in the last three weeks I couldn't write anything, at least not anything that really meant something for me... so anyway, I decided to at least do a media log.

My father and I finished the last seasons of Snowpiercer (2020-2024) and The Handmaid's Tale (2017-2025), both the worst of their shows - or simply I wasn't invested anymore, but the excessive runtime just dilutes the story and turns it into a bland adventure. For Snowpiercer, the beginning is so tense because if someone stole a single tomato it would disturb the perfect balance of the whole ecosystem in which everything is recycled and repurposed, and if anything is missing there's a cascade collapse, but later seasons they are exploding cars, leaving them behind, breaking the train in parts, nothing matters, there's no consequences... The Handmaid's Tale, the book is great, such a nightmarish tale that what makes it so horrific is the real possibility of that future, since everything there has happened before or is happening right now somewhere, and the series does a great job capturing it while expanding the scenario. I don't remember anymore what happened on each season, but I remember thinking the series should have ended after the third season (it got six, and they are going to keep milking it with a sequel series taking place years later), and the problem is that the longer it runs, the more distant it gets from its premise. At the beginning everyone is being watched all the time and at constant fear, the atmosphere was dense and claustrophobic... but as the series progresses, they are all doing whatever they want, they could barely cross the street without stopping at three checkpoints, even commanders, but now they are just crossing borders and going in and out of the super guarded fascist state like it's nothing, going on adventures to fight the system and being caught but nothing happens to any main character, they just get a slap on the hand and another chance and they keep doing what they were doing and getting caught again and all that oppressive atmosphere is just for side characters - and the introspective narrative forgotten. I fear that if they were going to adapt 1984 all the events of the novel would be the first season, and then the real resistance would help the main characters recover and they would go on sabotage missions, discover secrets, destroy secret weapons, be heroes and blah blah blah, completely erasing the impact of the work and turning it into more entertainment. Americans do that all the time, I first noticed it when I read The Count of Monte Cristo... stories that should be cautionary nightmares to make you reflect upon society and politics, or moral greyzones to make you reevaluate your principles, get turned into just another mindless adventure or romance... anyway... on my own I watched the second season of Fallout (2024-). My father and my cousin had watched it before and they say they didn't like it as much as the first, but I liked it. I guess for liking the games and knowing the lore I enjoyed more all the references.

Movies I watched some awful shit. The Astronaut (2025) kinda starts ok, it goes kinda into psychological thriller and horror but then a dumb Spielberg-like final act, that's so Spielberg they even copied a scene from Jurassic Park and the ending is basically something between E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. There are other things wrong with the movie, like some general stupidity of the story and characters, but it's not even worth writing it. I watched Mercy (2026) that is trying to have a message although they are not so sure what it is, and it's so fucking boring in general, it's basically Crisp Rat on a chair overacting for an hour and a half. Then I watched Salve Geral: Brotherhood (2026). They were trying to capitalize on the movie Salve Geral (2009) that is quite good and it's about the real events of 2006 when the crime organization PCC took the state of São Paulo for a week, which you may think it's not much because it's just a state in a third world country, but its GDP is bigger than that of 42 of the American states, so yeah, São Paulo is a pretty rich and developed state (richer than more of 80% of the USA). The thing is, this movie is a load of crap! In the first scene alone more cops died in that precinct than in the whole state during the real attack. It's full of video game-like action scenes, they don't try to have any connection to reality, it's well produced but it's a cash-grab action garbage sullying the name of a great movie. Brazilian cinema got such good traction recently with the highly awarded and Oscar Best Picture nominees I'm Still Here (2024) and The Secret Agent (2025), and I do believe we have great cinema, but we are producing so much cash-grab crap lately... I mean, we always had that, but it was reserved for romcoms and spin-offs of popular characters from soap operas, not good cinema. Now we are making shitty unwarranted sequels to great movies, like A Dog's Will (2000) got an awful sequel in 2024. Estômago (2007), which is a great black comedy crime thriller, also had an awful sequel in 2024. And they also announced for this year a sequel for God is Brazilian (2003), a comedy about God wandering one of our poorest regions, and I'm already ready to get mad at how crap it's going to be. City of God (2002), a very dark and intense crime thriller based on real events and one of my favorite movies ever, got a sequel HBO series also in 2024, I haven't watched it but the reviews aren't good. What's next, a sequel to Carandiru (2003) and Behind the Sun (2001)? A sequel to Pixote (1980)? (I just mentioned two Héctor Babenco movies, which reminded me that Hollywood just managed to crap over Kiss of the Spider Woman (1985) remaking it as a musical in 2025). Nowadays everything has to be milked and milked until it completely loses its meaning, just like I just complained about what they did to The Handmaid's Tale (oh, also how they wrapped Gen V (2023-) to continue in The Boys (2019-), I thought they were finally completing yet another great story that is being dragged for too long and losing its meaning, but just the other day I saw that they are going to start a new series in that universe... nothing ever ends...).

On not-bad things I watched, Predator: Badlands (2025) is a fun movie, and they are going to connect the story to Alien in a way that will make sense, but this movie could as well be Disney, because all the horror atmosphere of the past is gone, this is just a PG-13 action adventure movie, I mean, literally PG-13. It's like they MCUsed Predator... they open with a Predator bushido that makes me wonder if those guys aren't just a bunch of weebs, like their society maxxed space travel and stuff, but then they have those nerd larpers that be like "while you were all partying and having premarital sex, I was mastering the ways of the blade" and the rest of their society just looks at them like "eww, look at those virgin otakus playing with swords"... because sure those dumbfucks didn't create the technology they use. But it was a fun movie.

And finally, I watched 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) and I loved it! What a show Ralph Fiennes is, and the story is so fucked up, we are finally getting interesting zombie movies.

Being fucked by insomnia lately, trying to kill time, I decided to descend into nostalgia again.

I'm glad I grew up in the countryside. I have lived in two different regions of the same state while growing up, and when I was a teenager everywhere in like a 150km radius or so was fair game for a weekend, so sometimes I'd end up in a neighboring state as well. Sometimes I'd go to the capital São Paulo (outside of that radius), 20 million people there, and if I went to a punk gig there would be only punks, and the punks there were only into that specific subgenre of punk. If the other day I'd go to some straight edge hardcore gig, or to an anarchopunk gig, completely different publics. The sheer amount of people created celebrities, intrigue, but mostly attracted enough idiots to band together in big numbers, so the capital also had gangs and violence, and that's why I never cared much about hanging there even though it had the best venues and bands, I'd always rather go to smaller gigs in small countryside towns near me.

It just felt that in small towns, at least in my geographical scope, every kid that didn't fit, that felt there was something wrong, and was brave or bored enough to go and see what's out there, would band together, regardless of what kind of music they were into, if they were emos, goths, punks, metalheads, rockers, rappers, bboys, skaters or just weirdos, we weren't enough to scatter, we'd always gather in the same places and chat, dance, laugh, get drunk, plan parties or go out to poster the streets or graffiti the walls... and everywhere I went in the countryside I'd find the same energy. Very often I'd travel alone to other places and end up with tons of friends. I was always ready to spend the rest of the night on some park bench or sleep in some hidden place near the bus station, and when it happened I was rarely alone, but most of the time I would sleep where the gig took place with other people that came from other cities, or in the house of some random person I just met. These pics above, they are years and hundreds of kilometers apart, but share the same heartbeat.

And even though all the weird kids would band together, when it came to gigs the punks had the advantage. It just happened that DIY ethos didn't run everywhere, most scenes ran on money, and in small towns there was rarely enough for it. Crappy local cover bands would want minimum equipment we didn't have money to rent, and would charge more to play than it would cost to feed and get drunk a bunch of punk and metal bands from other towns playing for free, who would stay around and party and watch every band instead of just playing and going home, so it was a total no brainer. Among all the punk, hardcore, crust, grind, thrash, death, there were also experimental bands, from post-rock, crazy jazzy trip-hop, to pure dadaist noise, because they shared the same spirit of solidarity, and of course if we were making a party and some friend had a hard rock project or was rapping they were invited to play too, but without monetary prospects, these projects were often short-lived.

We'd take losses on almost every party, in fact we'd never expect to make money, we just wanted to have fun and give everyone a great time, and if we had a positive balance it would usually go to the outside bands, that most of the time paid their own transportation. I remember one gig that I organized in a bar in the next town, there were 5 bands, and I played in three of them lol (I had two bands, and I was covering for the drummer of another band), and there was a positive balance, we divided it equally between everybody because fuck it I wasn't going to make a fuss about shit just because I played more, I wasn't there for money, and I got $5! The first and only time I made money playing - which didn't even pay the bus ticket haha

Oh, the video above, yeah, everyone is having fun (I was there in the middle of it). Despite what it looks like, no one is getting hurt, after every gig everyone was hugging and laughing. Bumping our bodies, frantically clashing against each other to the rhythm, we all have so much frustration, so much bottled up anger, and we'd sweat it all away... yeah, well, perhaps that level of contact is not for you, nor the kind of music, it's alright, I always heard about the rave scene and I think we shared so much in spirit. I remember when I was like 12 I watched Groove (2000) with my older brother, and he was big into raving, and only years later when I watched it again I was able to share the feeling of it, because I saw the same thing in our dirty punk underground.

I have a lot of pictures from these parties that could probably put me trouble but I find them beautiful. Emo girls and boys probably 13 or 14 jumping to some dirty punk bands, with Green Day or Slipknot t-shirts, that in big cities would get bullied for being "posers", just getting drunk with everybody... I'm not posting any of the illegal doings here though haha, but it saddens me to see young people being well behaved, and adults preaching to kids to just stay within the limits that were set to them... nah, there aren't youth subcultures without the youth. Fucking get wild!

That flyer on the side, I drew that one, we'd do them by hand and then go out in the night with homemade flour glue and plaster it near schools to call out the weirdos. That party took place in the kitchen of the guitarist of my band. Some 6 years later I was back in town, on a gig in a bar near that location, and I caught two guys talking about a crazy party they went to on someone's kitchen a few blocks in that direction and what a great day it was... yeah, it was our party, and I can't even begin to explain the feeling of happines for being responsible for someone's happy memories.

edit 2026/03/12: Felt more nostalgic and decided to add a few pictures of it too.

However, my proudest moment is the following: There was no skate park in our town, so all the skaters were gathering in an abandoned school, and we decided to make a gig AND a skate competition!

Our drummer was an amateur getting sponsored by a local skate shop, and he talked to them to sponsor the competition - pay for the sound equipment and give some t-shirts and boards as the prize, and we would do the rest. The skaters got together and cleaned the whole place, they even built a small ramp with pieces of the wall. I myself bought some hundreds of meters of wires and stuff and made an illegal energy connection to get lights and power sockets for the sound, we got 6 bands to play, and on the day of the event... man, I never expected that many people to show up! There were so many kids (small ones) we even ran a competition for them!

Yeah, we got banned from the place, the night ended with the police, it's a long story, of course the all respectable society didn't like our gathering and the place was soon demolished, but I gotta tell, the pure energy, the next day feeling, man, we can do anything!

* All pictures by me, except those with good quality (those are all from before cellphones with cameras were common, and my digital camera was already old and shitty at that time). The band jumping by Marilia Okuyama and the skaters by Denise Roziska. Bands playing are, in order: Indigestão, the second is not in the picture but I know it was Distúrbio Mental, Motim and, also not visible in the picture, Conquest for Death (half USA half Japanese members, I really recommend checking their video "Many Nations, One Underground", it was from before their Brazilian tour, but they are playing in Namibia, South Africa, China, Malaysia, Singapore, New Zealand, Botswana, Australia, Indonesia, Mauritius, Philippines, Brunei, Hong Kong... this heartbeat I talked about, it's worldwide! - and I'm very glad that over the years I got to help in gigs for several foreign bands playing here too). In the kitchen the bands are Amores Perros and Decadência Social. The band playing in the video is Destrudo, it was recorded by xkikox.

It has been awhile since my last entry... eh, let me see... one of these Saturdays there was a classic games event here, and I wanted to go but I worked from 08:00 to 16:00 with home renovation and I was too beat to go out after that. Since my last media log I have watched... hmmm... when my uncle was here during Carnaval we watched Karate Kid: Legends (2025), and I swear every Karate Kid movie is the same movie. We also watched The Choral (2025) and the best thing I can say is that it was well produced, for even its most daring parts felt so tamed. I also watched The Rats: A Witcher Tale (2025) with my father, and everyone said it was so bad and blah blah blah but I just found it too formulaic, like every mainstream action movie, I really have a hard time rating them apart... yep, with my father and other people I mostly just watch meh movies, good stuff (or guilty pleasure: a.k.a. bad sci-fi) I prefer to watch alone so I can pay more attention.

We finally started watching the last season of Snowpiercer (2020-2024), and it's a good and entertaining show if you ignore how fucking stupid the main premise is - I mean, besides all technical problems that would make tons of other solutions way easier, who the fuck even built those tracks so quickly and what was their motivation to do so? How nowhere around the world people sabotaged the tracks the rich people built to save themselves after fucking the world? When I say "it's a good show", I mean, it's nice, a good time killer.

Oh fuck, since I'm doing a media log I gonna mention games too. I just checked and the last time I mentioned it was December 10... I was playing NecroVision (2009) and I quite liked the whole first half or so of the game, for a World War game to rely so much on melee combat was quite a surprise, but it does make sense. The middle part I liked how much you could explore the maps, and I really don't like going through the obvious path, I spent some 2 hours lost in chapter 6 or so because I jumped through places I shouldn't and I probably unintentionally made the speed run path but when I reached a bridge I saw some stairs on the side and went that way instead of crossing the bridge, and then I jumped on another bridge and found an opening on the side of the mountain and turns out I reached a place I should have reached in some other way to trigger something that would have a key, so the key wasn't there, I spent a lot of time trying to find small ledges I could jump and climb to get out of there, went through both sides of that bridge and explored for a lot of time reaching the start of the chapter and going through other paths until I finally reached the point where the floor breaks and I fell in the place that didn't trigger the key but that ship had already sailed and the key wasn't there, and managed to climb the bridge again and I remembered there was a place on the side that would take me to those stairs again, I went through there and crossed the other bridge this time, and it was the end of the chapter. I spent two hours going the wrong way lol. The last half of the game, and basically everything after the chapter you are riding the dragon, I found quite boring, there is infinite enemy spam, the weapon power balance was quite bad so half of the guns you carry are useless... the prequel NecroVision: Lost Company (2009) had its fun parts too. I didn't find them bad games, they are pretty fun but just too boring late game parts - but the writing, probably done by some 12yo metal fan.

Then I played Rogue Trooper (2006). I've read the first 20 years or so of the original comics, but I like more the art and the concept than the story itself - although a few are great, like War Machine. The game is quite cool, for 2006 I think it's missing some playability features, especially Quick Save - I really don't like to rely on checkpoints to be able to quit a game because I play in small doses mostly... I didn't finish the game though, I was too demotivated, and this was still in December, I haven't played anything this year actually. Orquestra Imperial playing Me Deixa em Paz by Monsueto (2007)

Wait, music? Yeah, this is also a cooking post!
This last Saturday was my father's birthday, we were going to make lasagna but he decided to make panquecas (although the intuitive translation would be "pancakes" those are actually thin crepes). I was starting to chop the onions on the table we had just had breakfast when my cousin and his wife arrived and they helped us with the mise en place.
(lol in the picture it looks like my cousin is cutting the tomatoes directly on the table but there was a white chopping board there :P) MPB-4 playing Roda Viva by Chico Buarque (1985)

My father is also a vegetarian, so we made soy panquecas. I don't know the recipe of the crepe he used, he picked one on the internet and he was there flipping the crepes while I made white rice, tomato sauce (that one I showed before) and was cooking the textured soy protein with olive oil, chopped onions, garlic, tomatoes, grated carrot and sliced olives - added chopped chives and parsley after it was done. Fred Martins playing Doceamargo (2007)

So after rolling the crepes with the soy we covered them with the tomato sauce (usually people don't put that much sauce) and then we covered it with a mix of onion cream, mayonnaise, and grated parmesan and mozzarella. Fernanda Takai playing Insensatez by Tom Jobim (2007)

Just noticed how many 2007 songs I ended up posting today, not intentional... anyway, so this was our lunch, panquecas and rice, but I forgot to take pictures of it when it was ready, so I took one after we had already eaten... well, the way we did it, it was basically a lasagna but rolled instead of stacked (although lasagna dough is very different from crepe batter). Diogo Strausz & Danilo Caymmi playing Assombração (2015)

I was going to post this yesterday, but I got lost surfing the web, and I will write about it some other day. Good night. Josyara playing Má-Lida by Di Melo (2021)

Dali and his black heart, just about a month ago.

Dali has always been slim, but in 2023 we noticed he was too skinny, and then we discovered he had advanced renal failure, with one kidney already severely compromised and the other barely hanging in there. I went to a pet store and literally bought one of each cat treat to see what he would like to eat because we wanted him to gain some mass, but he didn't really care much about anything. It was in December that year, when he was hospitalized for three days to receive IV fluids, that a veterinarian told me he liked Churu, so I bought one packet immediately and when I took him home it was so easy to feed him. We started buying Churu online, boxes and boxes, and he recovered so fast, he gained weight, he started eating his food normally, drinking water, he was so strong. We tried some other local brands but he wouldn't even try any, he would only eat Churu, but I got to say, that thing is the real deal, watching him these last few years so severely debilitated but still so lively and happy was a gift.

At first he was taking IV fluid therapy once a week, but even alternating front legs he developed phlebitis, so we switched to once every two weeks so his veins would have more time to recover. Soon this wasn't enough and we started alternating with back legs, but it was extremely uncomfortable and stressful, and the benefits of the IV fluids weren't enough for it, so he was spared this annoyance these last few months.

His disease kept progressing, and he developed some cardiac condition we never discovered because he had too much fluid in his lungs when we took the X-ray last month, he received IV diuretics and we did a thorax drainage but it didn't matter, I was syringe-feeding him water and he was peeing a lot while still being dehydrated and somehow getting fluid in his lungs. What was left of his kidneys was about to collapse. We promised that while he was still eating we would keep him, and the iron I was giving for his anemia would even stimulate his appetite, he was eating 8 to 10 Churus a day, but in this last week this number declined, he started vomiting more frequently, and yesterday he didn't want to eat at all, his breathing was hard, he wanted to be alone and remained distant from us, he most probably spent the day having cramps, so that was it. I didn't bother him with water and vitamins anymore.

I didn't expect to have the reaction I had today, nor the reaction I'm having right now after writing the last sentence from the previous paragraph. I messaged a good friend of mine who is a veterinarian and told her I needed her, I didn't want Dali to spend another night having cramps, so she came here this morning. Dali was sleeping with my mom but he came to the living room of his own will, jumping over the gate we have in the side corridor that separates part of the front yard and the backyard, he is the only cat we have that could jump over it, and even in his current state he managed to jump over it and came to the kitchen's glass door after I woke up. He jumped on the counter and that's him asking for milk, he's the only one we allow to ask for milk (but after he's full, it's free to whoever is around). He drank a lot of milk and I was very glad he did, he also drank a lot of water and even ate some cat food, although he rejected Churu. I woke my mom and she was a mess, I had to give her her medication and she sat on the sofa and calmed down, Dali went to the sofa on his own, today he wasn't having cramps and didn't want to be alone, I sat on the other side and we were both petting him and he was very relaxed and purring. I remember a time when my mom and I had things to do in the afternoon, and when we would come back Dali was waiting for us in the garage, he would jump on the kitchen window sill for us to pick him up, and we would both hug and kiss him, squeezing him between us, and he would just close his eyes and purr, every day, it was our routine, he always loved to be between us.

The veterinarian arrived just when he was starting to cough and having trouble breathing. She gave him a heavy dose of sedatives to get him to sleep before the euthanasia, and here I am, who have probably watched a hundred pets die already, feeling so sad and crying again while writing this entry. Some pets are special, I had enough to know, and Dali was special. He is the second cat we are cremating. Maybe one day I will write about Jessica's cremation, we did it at home, and if we were that kind of people I could say it was traumatizing, but I see it as a funny morbid story, because I don't romanticize the dead and a body is just organic waste, but we kept Jessica's ashes as we are keeping Dali's, not because of any spiritual reason, but because of what they meant to us and what we feel, the good memories that flood us when we see the altar, and the embodiment of those memories. We didn't want to go through this homemade cremation experience again though, so we contracted a quite expensive service not available in my city.

Since when have I taken care of him? This picture below is him on my chest being fed, and this is the page I made for him: https://pirahxcx.neocities.org/pets/dali - with several pictures and bits of his history, perhaps you will even find the story of the Three Blowjobeers funny (I have never seen anything like that before). I always wanted to make a page for my pets, but what really made me get this together was his health condition, I wanted to complete his profile while he was still alive so I could talk about him. The first entry on the main page: "2026/01/22: Dali is hospitalized and receiving an intravenous diuretic to remove fluid from his lungs.". I managed to get the page done with a month to spare... fucking hell, the people from the cremation service just retrieved his body at my friend's clinic and sent me the cheesiest message I could think of, that I'd expect myself to laugh at, but here I am breaking down again... I guess I'm not half as cold as I thought...

Today I went to a movie screening at a skate shop.

This last week was Carnaval, and my city was packed, a lot of public events going on, with the kind of music I only could stand when I was young because I was always extremely drunk... oh no, nostalgia time: I remember this Carnaval when I was in the second year of high school, a guy from my class lived in a nearby city that had a cool street party, so me and another friend from the school I had been expelled from in another city went to stay at his house to party in his city. Most of what I remember is from the dozens of pictures I appeared in, from the dozens of friend requests I got on Orkut, because on the first day I got so shitfaced drunk I ended up in the hospital - but apparently I made tons of friends before that.

The next day got really weird. I woke up and I was sharing a mattress on the floor with my friend from the other city, which was expected anyway, and I went to the bathroom to take a piss. I noticed my underwear was at my ankles, that my shorts were inside out, and that I fucking couldn't remember anything from the previous night... WHAT THE FUCK HAD HAPPENED!?

I tried to piece together the small fragments of memory to no avail. I tried to wake my friends to ask what happened but they were also sleeping drunk and would just mumble... small pieces of memory started to come back, and later when they woke up they told me. I decided to take a shower to "sober up" (after we came back from the hospital, were I took IV dextrose). I got into the bathroom, locked the door, undressed, turned on the first faucet I saw, passed out. It was like an hour later they were like "Where is Pira?" and they went looking for me. I had locked the door so my friend went out his bedroom window (we were on the second floor) and managed to climb through the bathroom window and I was there passed out cooking in the hot water, so he turned off the valve through the window and asked if I was ok and I was like "HuMmFurFss BrruMhhfss" or whatever I managed to mumble, so it looked like I was ok and they left me there. At some point I woke up, tried to put my clothes on, failed, went to sleep, and didn't have any drunk gay sex.

We went to his house for Carnaval the next year too, I think there were even more friends sleeping there this time - his parents were really great. That year I didn't end up in the hospital, I just got heavily drunk, was beaten up by cops, and woke up the next day not knowing why my whole body was stiff and hurting like hell... good times.

So, Carnaval here now, lots of things going on in the streets, all full of people, and in the parts with the music I hate you could barely walk. BUT, they had a square for old people, this one was playing rock hahaha. What they think of as a rock concert here is calling some cover bands to play '70s songs, but I'm sure any day now the old-people party will have Linkin Park and Evanescence - and then I will be forced to move to the young people party because the music there isn't so lame. I didn't stay in either though, just passed through and took a look around, I'm too boring now.

Oh, the skate shop today. I don't have any socials so I never hear about anything, but I have this friend who is active on Instagram and he always calls me when there is some party or event to go to. He is a writer, was a teacher, is a journalist and has worked for several newspapers, he knows lots of people, we were walking downtown today and every 5min he was waving at someone or someone would come to say hi, and it got me thinking, from all the people he knows, why is it that he calls me to hang out... as from the previous paragraph, I find myself so damn boring today, for me to tell a funny story I have to go at least 15 years back. We also rarely talk online, in person we talk a lot, but I'm not good at maintaining online connections, we also don't go "way back", it's not like we have some story together, and it's even more puzzling because for several years I just made excuses not to go out and he didn't give up on me, it was only three days after I started this diary that he called me again and I decided to go out... and, honestly, the energy to go out mostly came from the same source as today: "well, at least I will have something to write about", "maybe I will look more interesting to whoever is reading?".

We have a third friend that used to hang out with us, but all these times since I started going out again, he just made some excuses not to go, and I understood them very well. My friend had called him but he made some excuse, and as I was on the way to the skate shop I was going to pass very close to his house, so I stopped the car to call him and just said "Hey, put your shoes on, I'm there in 5min to pick you up", I decided not to give up on him either, but... well, let's just say I have a more aggressive approach haha, I told him I wasn't even planning to watch the movie, just wanted to hang there on the sidewalk and chat, and in the end he got in the mood so I picked him up.

Way fewer people than I expected showed up, and my friends knew a lot of people there, they grew up in this city. The screening was going to start 2 hours later, so we just walked a bit downtown, I actually planned to take a picture of the screening or something, but I totally forgot, and when the movie was going to start I wasn't feeling like watching because we were having a good chat, I didn't want to come back home too late because I have my animals to take care, and we were going to have to sit on the floor... the friend I picked up also didn't feel like watching, and the friend who called us, although he wanted to watch, he wasn't very excited about sitting on the floor the whole time. The guy is in his 50s by the way, but you wouldn't be able to tell because he looks and acts way younger.

He had parked several blocks away because this skate shop is right next to the most busy street and this is a touristic city and weekends are packed, there was no place nearby to park, and we walked him to his car and we talked about a lot of stuff, we talked a lot about bands, gigs, movies, directors, culture, I mean, throughout this afternoon and not just during this walk... then we were several blocks from where I had parked so he took us there in his car, then I took the friend I picked up to his house, but I think I ended up staying another hour or so in front of his house and we talked more personal stuff, we talked about medications, doctors, therapy, life, coping mechanisms... my mom called me because I said I wouldn't get home too late so she shouldn't worry about the pets' dinner, but I was very late already.

It was very good to see them today, and I'm very tired because I woke up early, but my day is not over yet, I cooked today too but it isn't for this blog, it's the dog food we have been making for like 35 years already, and I shall post it on my pet history page soon - now that all the food has cooled down I can put it in the freezer, so time to fill up the plastic containers.



ps: The movie we were going to watch was mid90s (2018).

We have two USB flash drives in our car, one with a general playlist, and the other with my punk and metal playlist. My mom was going to go out so she changed the flash drives, but accidentally dropped mine and we looked for it everywhere and couldn't find it, the thing simply vanished, and she joked that it was god saying he had enough of this music.

Flash forward ten minutes: Local drunk was asking for change at the traffic light, she gives him some coins, he says he has something for her, hands her a USB flash drive!
No, of course it wasn't my flash drive, it was a random flash drive he found. I started joking that it was the devil that tempted her hand to drop my flash drive, but god has sent me a new one, and we argued which mythical creature was behind each of these actions.

Back home, I checked what was in there, it was only music files, all the names were stuff like: god watches over me, god take my hand, god-this, god-that.

I lost a flash drive and immediately got a new one.
The gods love nonbelievers :)

Ok, my sleeping is getting weird... I went to sleep last night around 1:30, had set my alarm to 7:20 but I woke up on my own around 6:00 and I didn't feel like going back to sleep or lazing around in bed, I just woke up, like a total psychopath, and then around 20:00 (8pm) I was already sleepy so I went to sleep despite all the music playing outside... 22:40 and I'm up, like up up, what the fuck :S

In the morning I went to have breakfast with my father and then did some things I needed to do in the city, then came back and started working in the backyard and doing other stuff outside the house, from like 10:00 to 14:00, so the sun was at its highest, and I was shirtless the whole time. I came back inside, had lunch, and then started working on the widget I linked in the side menu, the Cooking Playlist, collecting all the songs I have posted in my cooking posts. Then I went to have a shower and noticed the water was hurting me, I looked at myself in the mirror and I'm all red, got all sunburned.

Well, I'm up, I decided to do what I have been procrastinating for awhile, my media log:

So far this year I think there were only two weekends that I spent a day with my father. We finished watching Ironheart and then we watched The Fantastic 4: First Steps (2025) and with that we caught up with all the Marvel crap released so far - no comments on them, just more bland entertainment.
On my own I watched a few movies, stuff I saved while I was downloading for my father: Malês (2024) caught my attention because it was done by a guy I like a lot, Antônio Pitanga, and it was about our biggest urban slave revolt. The Malês were Islamized blacks who were enslaved and they had significant numbers in the state of Bahia. The difference between the Malês and other groups is that they were alphabetized, it was part of spreading Islam, so they had an edge in organization. After the revolt there was some active effort in banning Islamic gatherings and separating and monitoring black people who could read, and the Islamic religion died here because it can only exist through dogmatic and hierarchical order, meanwhile other African groups had oral traditions and their organizations were flexible. The cults they formed here, like Candomblé and Umbanda, hid their deities among Catholic deities and formed such a cultural syncretism that in a lot of places here Catholics worship or respect African deities and vice-versa, or take them as representing the same deity (like some Catholic Saint and some Orixá represent the same thing). Another important difference is that, unlike with Abrahamic religions, in those African religions women play the same role as men, so they had double the number of keepers of the traditions. Malês was well produced but I feel like it was just an ok movie, it's more interesting because it's historical.
I watched Licorice Pizza (2021) by Paul Thomas Anderson, it was ok, I mean, for a romance I'd place it on a high tier inside the genre, but it's just a genre I don't care much about on its own. I also watched TRON: Ares (2025), profoundly silly, but boy does it look cool. Then I watched two movies I liked a lot, the first I want to comment on is The Secret Agent (2025) by Kleber Mendonça Filho with a lead that is quite popular at the moment, Wagner Moura. It already won two Golden Globes, four prizes at Cannes, and is running for four Oscars. It's a very gripping thriller taking place in 1970s Brazil with a fantastic characterization of the time and place. A lot of it is quite surreal, I guess it's highlighting the absurdity of the period, but honestly, they botched the ending hard, I think he tried to pull some half-assed Wes Anderson meta-narrative or something, and I hated it, but apart from that the whole journey is great. Dona Sebastiana, I aspire to be at least half of the human you are <3 The other movie was Bugonia (2025) by Yorgos Lanthimos. I went in completely blind, I picked it because I love the director, and man, not knowing anything about the movie just made it all better, at every development I was laughing so hard. Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons are fantastic here, but I also think they botched the ending, it could have ended sooner to keep the ambiguity. One thing I like about Lanthimos is that his movies are crazy as fuck and he doesn't explain anything, but this time, he overexplained...

There is this avant-garde Japanese short movie director called Keiichi Tanaami, I have been watching all his stuff even though only a few I actually liked, and I had put a follow on MyAnimeList on some of his short animations I couldn't find to watch. Just recently someone uploaded to the internet a collection of works that contained some of his stuff that wasn't available online before, so I downloaded it to check out. She (1971), Black Cat (1972), Human Events (1975), Look at the Wood (1975) and Spectacle (1975).
So here's a common thing between all avant-garde short directors of that period: They are all annoying as fuck. Their movies are excessively long, just repeating the same footage or motif hundreds of times. The soundtrack tends to be horrendous, most of the time it's noise they have manually drawn directly in the film roll, but here is the thing: they watch that crap super high, and mostly you have to be in that state to enjoy it. There was some ok stuff in the middle of the batch, I remember She was ok, and there was an actual soundtrack in one of the movies. I keep watching those avant-garde stuff because sometimes you strike gold, you just have to dig through a mountain of pretentious crap. (I genuinely liked The Laughing Spider (2016) though, and I also find the animation work of Landscape (2004) and Chirico (2008) very cool - all Tanaami works).

I paused several times while writing this entry, it's alreay Sunday, around 1:30 now, I have no idea when I'm going to feel sleepy, no idea how it will affect my day, I do plan to go out, but I don't think I'm up to partying in the streets.

What a surprisingly productive day! Are the drugs kicking in already?
Actually, I suspected that way earlier today. I found it a bit weird waking up with no morning wood, and in this lazy morning with nothing much to do, yeah, I got horny, however, I was quite a bit... unresponsive... whose fucking big idea was it to make drugs that take away your boner but not your horny!?

My mom was doing very well for the past 30 days or so, and yesterday out of nowhere she had a crisis. It wasn't ugly, but it's always worrisome, so I cancelled things I had today to see how she would wake up. Here in my city it rains A LOT from October until April, and December and January are particularly rainy, and this year has been exceptionally rainy. The past two weeks it rained almost non-stop every day, and during this period nature runs wild! My backyard is a mess, and I was meaning to trim the trees, cut the grass and stuff for a while. We finally caught a break from the rain, but I couldn't go work with noisy equipment in the backyard before my mom waking up, not because the noise could wake her, she sleeps like a stone, but because I wouldn't hear her waking up and wouldn't hear if she called for me... when she has a crisis, she wakes with it.

She only woke up in the middle of the afternoon, and she was fine and in a good mood, before that, I vacuumed the house (have to do it every other day anyway), did the laundry, and did tons of work on my site (reworked a lot of scripts, and ended up sidetracked on my pet page and ended up making a page just for pictures of other animals I took care of or that I caught in my house). She woke up, I went to work in the backyard. The first thing was actually cutting the super high grass outside my property to clear the path to my shit moat - yeah, I have a lot of animals, their shit has to go somewhere (and someone wouldn't want to jump inside my property through the back wall, they would sink in shit lol). I trimmed my mulberry trees and cut the grass, but I still have some lemongrass and citronella grass to trim. They are all super big. There is also a lot of weed growing between the tiles I have in the path and some other places, but I can't use weed killer because of my pets, so I just salt the way. Tomorrow I'm going to buy some 15kg of salt for that. Still a lot of things to work on there that I have been procrastinating for three months.

Tomorrow starts the Carnaval, the week-long countrywide wild party. My uncle is going to stay at my dad's, and maybe the cousin that was here for New Year's is going to come. My other cousin is having four friends over. Two of them have been here before, one is a guy my cousin went to school with and we hung out quite a few times back then, the other is his boyfriend he brought last time he came here - we are the only other people we knew that use the TV Time app, so we added each other there. Other is a girl that also went to school with my cousin and we met only once, but gosh, it was a fucking fantastic week. This other friend (the one who's coming with his boyfriend) had a farm close to a super small village in the middle of nowhere, and him, this girl, my cousin, and I took a bus to that village and walked for hours in the mud to reach that farm. We took tons of alcohol, my cousin took his SNES, we had cards, a soccer ball, board games, we made vodka freeze pops and had tons of snacks, and spent a week there just playing games and getting wasted... a great fucking drinking game we developed was: you roll some dice to get a number, then you hold a stick, put it on the ground and put your forehead on it, then you spin around that number of times while keeping your head on the stick, and after that you run forward and try to kick a ball and score a goal... without the drinks we'd mostly already fall before reaching the ball lol (just thinking now, that girl's parents were real champs for letting her go out for a week with three guys lol, we were all minors). Oh, the fourth person coming I don't know yet.

So back to my day, after working in the backyard I took a very nice shower, but do you think my day was over? No, I still made a very nice dinner! Jorge Ben Jor playing Mas Que Nada (1963)

So tonight I made a zucchini fettuccine with a twist. I chopped half a onion, half a garlic head, that amount of leek there, and cut two zucchinis in small cubes. Vinícius de Moraes & Maria Creuza playing Canto de Ossanha (1970)

As always I start sautéing the onions, then I added the leek, then the garlic, the order is about how long it takes for each to cook. Gilberto Gil & Caetano Veloso playing Haiti (1993)

Next I added the zucchini and cooked for awhile. Milton Nascimento & Chico Buarque playing Cio da Terra (1977)

Then I added paprika, black pepper, salt, heavy cream and the twist... we always made this pasta, and it's quite good, but one day out of nowhere my mom decided to add lime zest and WOW, it changed everything! Lime zest! It makes all the difference! Tom Jobim & Elis Regina playing Águas de Março (1974)

And finally my plate, it was damn good! Gonzaguinha playing Comportamento Geral (1973)

I keep procrastinating on my media log and only post when I cook now lol
I'm beat. Good night!

These pictures are actually from last night, but I was too tired to make a post after spending hours fixing the CSS and the formatting of this page. When I started this diary I didn't think I'd be using it that much, it was just something to fool the demotivation, the lack of joy in everything, and diverting my gaze from the abyss. I was just creating divs with inline style on the go, and when I noticed, this page had 150k characters already (which, after all the clean up, went down to 120k)... soon I'm probably gonna have to add some lazy loading or divide the content into pages...

Anyway, in the last post I mentioned being back on drugs, but funny thing, just like when you have something not working and you call someone to fix it and then suddenly that shit decides to work again, these last few days I wasn't feeling so down... it was in December that I was really feeling like I was spiraling out of control, after months of just bottling it up, and years ignoring the build up, and decided to look for help, but because of holidays and shit, I could only get an appointment for January. My mom has some real issues, and back then she was having a lot of trouble so I gave up my appointment, and I didn't make a new one for two weeks because I was having to care for her and I couldn't just leave in the middle of the day and leave her alone. I'm kinda used to pretending to be ok just to not worry others, when I had a crazy uncle setting fire to our farm in the middle of the night every now and then and my mom having constant panic attacks I just developed anxiety-induced dysrhythmia and chest pain, now I mostly just have insomnia... but I could still find some hobby to distract myself, occupy my free time, have some joy or something, and these periods of demotivation, man, they are tough (which I feel very stupid to say given how fucking easy my life is as I don't have to deal with war, famine, poverty, disasters, persecution and shit)... even though I was already feeling a tad better, faking it until making it, I welcome the drugs, and I hope those are ok... I've been in and out of others before, never had withdrawal issues, and perhaps I have a chronic condition but I can deal with it on my own just fine most of the time.

Fucking depressive post! Let's go back to the site stuff!
So I do all my editing directly on the Neocities text editor, and while I was creating IDs and classes for the CSS I was saving to look if it was working and shit, but turns out every time you save changes Neocities takes a new screenshot of your page, and by doing that it was reloading the page, and with that all the songs I have posted here so far. When I checked my email, Dropbox said they had blocked my traffic because I had over 25GB of bandwidth usage (on about 150mb of files). I really hope the preload="none" tag on the audio controls works, after this post I'm doing the Dropbox bot-check so they can open a bit more of free bandwidth, and perhaps the songs on this post can be played.

ENOUGH WITH BULLSHIT! Let's start!
Lenine playing Martelo Bigorna (2008)

As I mentioned, these pics are from last night. I had a lot of rice leftover and decided to salvage it, and for tonight's dish I chopped two onions, one garlic head, cut a lot of cherry tomatoes, cut carrots and green beans, also got a corn and peas mix, shredded tons of smoked ricotta, and I also boiled 6 eggs. Marcos Valle playing Batucada Surgiu (1966)

So first I browned the onions and the garlic with olive oil then added the rest of the vegetables to cook with a bit of butter. The rice was already done, so after the vegetables were ready I just mixed them with the rice and the smoked ricotta and put them on the baking dish, covered with the tomatoes and the eggs and put a bit more ricotta on top. Paula Morelenbaum playing Berimbau by Vinícius de Moraes (2004)

Then I put it in the oven, and when it was ready I topped it with some fresh chives from my garden :) Tom Zé playing Tô (1968)

Exceptionally tonight I'm posting meat. I don't eat meat but I made this ground meat for my mother. As always, starting by browning some onions and garlic with olive oil, then cooking the meat, and I had a bit of my special homemade tomato sauce left, and I added a bit of grape tomatoes, smoked ricotta and fresh chives as well. Mart'nália playing Os Sinais by Junior Almeida (2012)

And this was my dinner (with a salad mix of three different types of lettuce and balsamic vinegar).
If you ask me, it turned out great :) Chico Carvalho playing Neidinha (2008)

Oh, it wasn't just that. For dessert I had carrot cake with dark chocolate. This was my mom's doing. Good night!

I'm back on drugs, babe - let's see if these hit any good.

Rogê playing Brasil em Brasa (2008)

It's very easy to make homemade gnocchi, but you know what, last time I made dough I didn't have that many cats, just some old ones that are chill, and just to think about scrubbing my counter and the fight to keep the new ones from jumping on it... nah... it's easy to make a good homemade gnocchi, but easier to buy an ok one from the store.

Otto playing Naquela Mesa by Sérgio Bittencourt (2009)

I still have a lot of tomato sauce left from the eggplant parmigiana I made earlier this week, and I fucking love that sauce!


As Baías playing Ó Lua (2017)

So my whole cooking tonight was actually just boiling the water to cook the gnocchi. This entry is a farce, it's just an excuse to post music :)


Falamansa playing Xote da Alegria (2001) Leila Pinheiro playing Catavento e Girassol (1996)

Oh, I also made that mix of three different types of lettuce, and that's it.

Ana Cañas playing Coração Vagabundo by Caetano Veloso (2007)

I watched quite a bit of stuff lately, but maybe I will post about it tomorrow. I made dinner today, the traditional "rice and beans" everyone here has every day, but I took only a few pics - which doesn't matter, since I decided I'm posting for me instead of making a cooking show.
And I'm going to keep posting random songs from my MPB playlist. Taiguara playing Aquarela de Um País na Lua (1976)

I left one and a half cups of red beans soaking since last night, got two cups of brown rice, and diced one onion and one garlic head. Ah, I already showed how I make rice in this other entry, I brown the onions and garlic (first the onions, since the garlic burns too quickly) and I usually add paprika or some chili powder... Edu Lobo playing Ponteio (1970)

As for the beans, we use pressure cookers for them, so while they were cooking I browned the other half onion and half garlic head with smoked paprika (I love spicy food). When the beans are ready I add salt and the onion/garlic and let it cooking for a few minutes. Leo Jaime playing Mensagem de Amor by Os Paralamas do Sucesso (1986)

As a side I made some okra. I used to make it in a big frying pan, but since I got an Air Fryer I'm using it instead. I just cut it like that and then add very little salt and then Worcestershire Sauce (a local one that doesn't have fish nor the malt vinegar), it also works with shoyu sauce... you have to stir every few minutes to cook evenly. Adriana Maciel playing Juízo Final by Nelson Cavaquinho (2004)

So it turns out I forgot to check and stir and I kinda burned it, but I forgot to take pictures of it and now we already ate most of it (it shrinks when cooked, so that portion is really not much). Sorry chesca, no evidence xD
So, another side I made was eggplant parmigiana, and for that I made a tomato sauce that I'm pretty proud of. I have a "passaverdure" but I bought a passata instead because I was feeling lazy. Two diced onions, one thinly sliced garlic head that I leave soaking in olive oil, and fresh thyme and basil from my garden.
First I cook the onions (not until caramelizing), then I add the passata, the garlic, salt, chili powder, and half a cup of olive oil and let it reduce, only by the end I add the herbs. I love this tomato sauce and I always make it for pasta as well.
Dominguinhos playing Eu Só Quero Um Xodó (1975)

I cut the eggplant in slices, soaked it in water with a bit of vinegar for some thirty minutes to remove the bitterness, then squeezed the slices to remove the water, put some olive oil in the baking dish, put the eggplant, the tomato sauce, covered with mozzarella and some shredded smoked ricotta (this one doesn't melt).
The eggplant didn't fit in only one dish... Filipe Catto playing Saga (2011)

Finally, my dinner: brown rice, red beans, slightly burned okra, eggplant parmigiana, my mom asked me to make her an egg so I ended up making one for me too, and a salad of lettuce, grated carrot, sliced radish and balsamic vinegar. End log.

Opening a door I haven't in a while... should I go for a ride like it's the '90s? I wouldn't wreck myself trying to jump the curb? Well, I can at least take the Walkman and the Brick Game 9999 666.

Apanhador Só playing Mordido (2013)

I was going to buy some pasta and saw that Barilla Chifferi and decided to try a kind of Mac and Cheese... but I failed. Djavan playing Sina (1982)

I bought cheddar, mozzarella and a cheese we call prato that seems to be somewhat similar to American colby cheese... I usually do this cheese sauce using gorgonzola and it's great. I tried with those other cheese because of the pasta I bought and thought about trying to make something similar to Mac and Cheese. Erasmo Carlos playing Cachaça Mecânica (1973)

It was just a béchamel with cheese. I shouldn't have added mozzarella, it got the sauce lumpy and the flavor too mild. Chico Buarque playing Construção (1971)

And the chifferi was way smaller than I thought!
Anyway, I made a salad with lettuce, grated carrot, sliced radish and balsamic vinegar (love it!) and that's it. Jorge Aragão playing Já É (2000)

Well, I've put six songs from my cooking playlist in the previous food posts, so I'm doing the same here: Quinteto Violado playing Palavra Acesa (1978)

Going through a lot of old photos for My Cute Pet Page, and found a picture of my secret origins: Yep, that's baby me.

Finally, a day I'm not feeling so rotten.
I watched some stuff these days but I'm going to comment some other day, I have to go to sleep soon so I'm gonna try to keep it short. Barbatuques playing Baianá (2005)

I decided to post local music when posting food now.
Today I made a dish called Escondidinho (could be translated as something like "hidden treat"), traditionally it's some meat covered with mashed potatoes and some cheese that is baked in the oven until golden. But I don't eat meat so I made white button, portobella and shimeji mushroom with garlic, leek, butter and shoyu, and I used sweet potatoes instead of regular potatoes, and mashed with paprika, then covered with catupiry, which is kinda of creamy Brazilian cheese. Martinho da Vila playing Disritmia (1974)

So hey, I didn't take pictures of the making, but here is my plate of Escondidinho with the radicchio and lettuce salad with balsamic vinegar I always make. Itamar Assumpção playing Fim de Festa (2004)

And here's the whole thing. I don't have much to post so I'm stalling. Elis Regina playing Madalena by Ivan Lins (1970)

Hey, is anyone there? I hope someone out there is having fun discovering local music from a different country.
In the last two days I made A LOT of progress on My Cute Pet Page. It started really bad, I tried too cute, too cringy, too many hearts and stars and sparkles, gosh, it was awful, but then I made this design that went from 13yo girl to just childish but I think it's looking better... I'm pretty proud of it so far, at least how interactive everything is, but now the hard part started: making the profiles and uploading pictures (so far, I managed to post pictures of only one cat lol). Cartola playing Preciso me Encontrar (1976)

I'm actually not one to take many pictures... there are days that I take several, then there are years without any. I have several pets that lived and died without me taking any picture, and since the BIG rescue from two years ago, I barely took any. Well, I will write more about this stuff in that page. I have things to do early in the morning. Good night. Farofa Carioca playing São Gonça (1998)

Shitty last two weeks, to the point it feels like a chore to write something here, so I was kinda postponing, but it was my idea to start this diary to avert my gaze from the abyss anyway. I didn't make any progress on the pet page, I have to start taking pictures of my pets, but I'm feeling too lazy. I would have to start designing the page to think of more art assets. I also didn't finish the map... I made those entries about cooking this month, not so bothersome, but it was a request to be more thorough about it, and I got zero feedback, so bleh. I cooked something yesterday but didn't take pictures. I also made homemade mayonnaise the other day, which is so easy to make and it's so much better than those industrialized crap, but also didn't take pictures. Maybe next time I make hot sauce I will take pictures and save them to post when I make mayonnaise again, and do an entry about condiments.

I didn't have much time to see my father, or have the day where we just sit and watch crap, although this Sunday we watched Thunderbolts (2025), where the real enemy is depression, and honestly it was quite enjoyable up until the moment Sentry is presented, because up until then it was a silly movie with funny characters, but then we are reminded this is actually a superhero movie, so at that point it becomes the same shit as every other superhero movie. Oh, I have to take back that thing about The Witcher being more interesting than The Wheel of Time, and although The Wheel of Time is not that great, it's sad it got cancelled. And this afternoon I took my mother to her physiotherapy, only a few blocks away from my father's house, so we watched the first episode of Ironheart while I waited to pick her up. I don't have anything to say about the series, it's just another time-killer - after that I think we have only one movie left to catch up on the MCU.

With my mother I watched the last season of Stranger Things (2016-2025), and I quite like the series overall, there is a lot of nostalgia and pop culture references. I think the first season was very nice, the second not so much, the third was embarrassing, the fourth was nice again, if not for some singing and shit, and the fifth, well, it was half awkward and half nice... what really bothers me is that every five minutes some character decides it's time to talk about feelings and discuss their relationship, only in a few cases it's even relevant for the plot or character development, the rest they are just trying to get the viewer emotional, some forced nauseating melodramatic tearjerker following every useless comedic relief and that scene where some character is being stubborn just so the episode can be longer. It could really use an abridged version (that cuts the 40 min of ending as well, gosh, flashbacks of me trying to get up to leave the cinema at each fade to black in the third Lord of the Rings movie just for another goodbye scene to start... shit was endless...). Probably we are watching the last episode of the fifth season of Only Murders in the Building (2021-) in a few minutes. Nice series, not great, but funny and entertaining. I find it hard to find good comedy series, most American sitcoms make me want to gouge my eyes out. Recent comedy series (like, from the last ten years) that I really like are The Kominsky Method (2018-2021), Barry (2018-2023) and Fleabag (2016-2019). Only Murders in the Building would be on a second list, of stuff I enjoyed but won't say it's that great, with Crashing (2016), The Flight Attendant (2020-2022) and Poker Face (2023-2025).

Things I watched on my own? Just the ceiling.

Tonight's dish is very important to me and takes me back to several treasured memories, because when I was captured by rebels in the jungles of Cambodia and taken to a prison camp, they told me I'd either cook for everyone or suck everyone's cock. It was a tough two years of services, but after that I promised myself I'd learn how to cook.

Ok, this entry is going to be a bit different, this was supposed to be a fucking personal diary to comment on whatever I'm doing, but it's turning into a... I don't know... I guess it's still a blog, just not so personal in these Martha Stewart entries... so, if you clicked my player before you might think all I listen to is punk, but I'm actually pretty nerd about the whole rock genre, and I'm also a huge fan of our local music, and we have a thing called MPB (Música Popular Brasileira) that is a mix of everything local (Samba, Bossa Nova, Baião, Forró, Axé, Choro, and several others, it's a pretty big country with a huge mix of cultures) with foreign rhythms (Jazz, Soul, Rock, Electronic, Hip-Hop, Tango, Bolero...). Tonight this was my playlist (not all MPB, some are just traditional local), and I decided to put a few songs here. Clara Nunes playing Feira de Mangaio by Sivuca (1979)

So this dish is kinda arab, usually they use cinnamon and several spices, but I'm not a huge fan of cinnamon and I only had cumin. Did you know Brazil has the largest Syrian and Lebanese population outside their countries? They came here running from the fall of the Ottoman empire and brought a Syrian/Lebanese culture from before modern Islam. We also have the largest Japanese population outside of Japan, largest Italian population outside of Italy, second largest German, Polish and African populations, and we are all mixed as fuck, no racial purity can survive Carnaval... anyway, this is what I'm using for this recipe: 2x cups of brown rice, 1x cup of brown lentils, 5x onions, apparently 6x garlic cloves but I really just eyeball those stuff, 1x carrot (this is not in the original recipe, this is my doing) and that pepper, hmm, we call it dedo-de-moça, it's not very hot but it's hotter than a jalapeño (also my doing). Elza Soares playing Mulher do Fim do Mundo (2015)
[She was 85 when she made that song, with 65 years into her career. The Woman from the End of the World is my goddess.]

Half onion I diced and the rest I sliced, cut the carrot in small cubes, well, you have eyes... Caetano Veloso playing A Bossa Nova é Foda (2012)

So first I caramelized the diced onions with garlic and the pepper (as I was picking stuff from the chopping board some carrots got mixed), and while doing that I put 5x cups of water to boil separatly. After caramelizing I added the brown rice, lentils and the water (already at boiling point), salt and cumin. When the water level is already below the rice, but there is still time to cook, I added the carrots and let it cook slightly in the vapor so they don't get too soft... I was distracted by the playlist and forgot to take pictures lol. Novos Baianos playing Brasil Pandeiro by Assis Valente (1972)

So next was caramelizing the rest of the onions... so hey, little tip, the difference from Extra Virgin Olive Oil to Extra Slutty is that Slutty Oil has a higher smoking point, so you use that one for cooking... I also forgot to take pictures and only took one when I was done. Fundo de Quintal playing O Show Tem Que Continuar (1988)

Originally this recipe would have lamb or something, but my mom made some chicken wings for her in the air fryer. Anyway, I added some roasted peanuts, a radicchio and lettuce salad with balsamic vinegar, and that's it. Good night. Criolo playing Subirusdoistiozin (2010)

Blah blah blah personal life, blah blah blah created a cooking tag for this diary, blah blah blah tonight I made a mushroom pasta.
Was this preamble good enough? I don't have any recipe that really means anything deep for me, and this thing about trying to get everyone emotional about everything is too American-"Reality"-Television for me, so let's go Brandon!

I have no idea how to give recipes, I only measure things if I'm going to make dough or so, the rest I just eyeball stuff. I chopped a whole garlic head, because I love garlic, but it might be too much for most people. The chopped green-thing is leek, and the mushrooms I mixed are shiitake, white button, and portobello... picture for, like, proportions: First, I sautéed the mushrooms with a bit of butter. Then the leek and the garlic with a bit of olive oil. I didn't do them together because the mushrooms release too much water, so the garlic and leek wouldn't cook properly. Next, I started making a béchamel there. It's, hmm, I don't know how to explain: you mix a bit of butter and flour and cook until it's even (this part is called "roux"), then you add milk and stir until it's creamy. And then I put them all together, added salt, black pepper, a bit of ground dried red chili, and a bit of heavy cream. I felt like there was something amiss, though, so I picked some chives from my garden :) The pasta I'm making is an Italian Paganini "trafilata al bronzo." Might not be a big deal for Europeans, but it's way better than anything local I have in my third-world country.
So last time I didn't post a picture of my plate because I said I felt like an Instagram diva taking pictures of food before eating it, but a fanmail (lol) said I can't be an Instagram diva if I'm not on Instagram, so here I am being a Neocities diva. Meh, the picture ended up quite bad, I should have stirred it first so it got more sauce on top. I'm still learning how to be an attention whore.
Well, got the dinner ready for two or three days anyway.

Made a few more edits. I felt like my other one with the pawprints fading ended up looking like a five-legged cat despite the fading starting when that paw should be lifted for a new step... but with only four paws at a time I feel like it looks clunky, like biped. With only three, to simulate that one would be off the ground during the walk, looked so bad I didn't even save, and with a longer fade-out time it's an eight-legged cat!?

Edit 01 Edit 02 Edit 03 Edit 04 Edit 05

To avoid the several-legs illusion I tried to get the paws to fill the screen first... but I'm still not sure... any ideas on how to improve it?

Making another asset for my pet page, I was looking for something to put in the footer and found this on GifCities:

Pawprints? Creative as fuck, I know. [irony]
I used as a base to create this one (I will probably change the color - if I don't cringe out of the page before publishing it): As with everything from GifCities, though, I have no idea who to give credits to.

A bit past midnight again. I woke up early "yesterday" (I subscribe to the idea that the day only changes after I slept, though) to fill a few gallons of water at the public spring - my city has lots of public drinking fountains from natural springs, which is pretty cool - then I went to have breakfast with my father. I didn't stay until lunch because I have an injured cat I need to treat twice a day, and I'm doing it at midday and midnight. Not much later my mom woke up not feeling well, medication didn't help, I took her to the hospital. It wasn't serious, she's fine now, I won't elaborate, but I only got back home around 20:00 (8pm)...

... eh, boring enough entry so far, let me talk about the project I mentioned in the last entry, I'm finally sketching out my pet page, I posted on Neocities some time ago: "I need help making a page for my rescued cats. If I was to make one it would look like they all gave up on life. I need to highlight their heavily ignored names, their dozens of unrelated nicknames, the special songs I sing for each, their lore, likes/dislikes, etc etc. I'm not creative and cute like you folks, I'm a walking void enveloped by darkness with a hole for a soul but when I see cats ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ" and I mean it, I'm really struggling with creating it, I'm so unimaginative that I just put black background on everything. I have an idea for color palette (not black!), but I'm still banging my head around design and shit, especially fonts, and I need to create a profile for 39 pets, and at least 1 in memoriam (if I were to make an in memoriam for every rescued pet I took care of, I'd have to make around 150 profiles - I'm not kidding)... I also don't think I'm going to be linking it on my main page, I mean, you can't go from my all black page with selected pictures and parts of my history cherry picked to make me look like a bad boy, and then you land on a cutesy colorful page about pets!? This is gonna ruin all my efforts to look bad!

Below that Neocities comment I added: "There are two main groups, the inner party and the plebs, but they have their subdivisions. The inner party has two blocs (sleep in different bedrooms) and the independents (they prefer the living room). The plebs have the lower class living in the depot downstairs (sloped lot) I renovated to be the pets' house, but the upper class decided to live in the laundry and the garage upstairs... I got daywalkers, who stay outside during the day but come back inside to sleep at night, we got the banished that absolutely can't come inside (for they piss everywhere), there are the loners, the couples, the ones friends with everybody... and yeah, there are also the dogs!" so I decided to not put all profile pictures on the same page, you will navigate the groups by selecting the highlightable places on the map. I'm only sketching for now (using Photopea): The pet page won't be ready any time soon.

ps: Yes, calling it the "inner party", "plebs", "upper class", "lower class", is just a joke.

A bit past midnight right now and I'm going to wake up early and see my father, we are probably finishing The Wheel of Time today, two or three episodes left, I saw the series was cancelled, but even though I didn't finish watching, I can already review: Meh - it's an ok series if you like sword and sorcery epic fantasies, though.

Spent this last week with family, despair and the void (five days since last entry, I'm going to count it as a week). Took my cousin to the bus station last night. We spent good time together, and watched The Naked Gun (2025) and Ballerina (2025) since last entry, eh, The Naked Gun has a few good puns, no more comments... my other cousin was in his old city with his wife's family during Christmas and they came back for New Year's Eve. I was taking care of their pets while they were gone, then they came back with a washing machine and I helped them move their old one downstairs (top-loading, light) and the new one upstairs (front-loading, heavy! At least it was just one flight of stairs). Funny thing, I moved here with my mom, a different state, and she joked about wanting to be very far from my father's family, but then he moved here, then that cousin moved here and I have an uncle considering moving here after retirement in a few years, and he might bring his son, and now this other cousin was already asking about rent and living costs here, fuck, am I becoming a kind of family hub and they are all coming after me? At least it's the part of the family I like - it's a big family, and some I don't even pretend to be polite to.

Hey, I cooked again today, I didn't feel like taking a picture of the rice and beans, they are part of every meal around here, but I did cassava, which if you don't have in your country too bad, it's like a potato but if done right it's crispier outside and creamier inside, people usually fry it but I did it in the oven, just put some olive oil, salt, and smoked paprika. The other plate is broccoli with grape tomatoes, chopped some onion and garlic, added olive oil, salt and black pepper, and also went to the oven (no, it's not burnt, it's right how it should be)... I actually took a picture of my plate with a radicchio and lettuce salad with balsamic vinegar, and my homemade pepper sauce made an appearance on the side (I might post the recipe one day), but fuck, I felt like an Instagram diva taking pictures of the food before eating, and I decided to not upload it. I have a project I want to talk about, but gonna leave it for another day, gotta be up in a few hours.

It's like 23:45 but I'm going to pretend it's past midnight and I made this post tomorrow. My last entry, earlier today, was pretty depressing, but I forgot to mention it's also my mom's birthday and I made an eggplant lasagna and a pineapple "pavê" (traditional local dessert).
Eggplant?? Well, it's been 22 years or so since I last ate meat, and my mom quite likes vegetables and is a fan of my dishes. Unfortunately I only thought about taking pictures when both my sauces were already reducing (basic béchamel of flour, butter, milk, nutmeg, and my personal tomato passata with olive oil, thin garlic slices, tons of chopped onions, basil and thyme from my garden) and I was grilling the eggplants (with a bit of olive oil, salt and black pepper). With all due modesty, and I'm quite a good cook, and girls that wanted me just for my body didn't know what they were missing.

Here's a picture from the assembling (using mozzarella cheese). And finally them ready... yep, I made two, and we ate like 1/3 of one so we're gonna be eating lasagna for a few days. Doesn't matter, they are delicious :) The pavê was already in the fridge, but it turned out great too. It's layers of crème pâtissière (milk, sugar, egg yolk, cornstarch, I added light cream, condensed milk, and shredded coconut) with a pineapple compote in the middle (just cut a pineapple into cubes, added sugar, and cooked until it formed a nice syrup) separated by "cornstarch biscuits" (they are sweet cookies thin and crunchy as crackers), topped with a dark chocolate ganache, covered with more shredded coconut. I'd marry the hell out of me! Hmmm... I used to cook a lot, one of my friends just told me the other day we should get together to make some pizza again (yeah, I do them from scratch), I wonder if I should add a new tag to this blog and start posting food too.

A week since my last entry, I don't even know what to write. I wanted to write before, but I have been procrastinating with everything I could, and even while I'm writing this, I'm not sure I'm going to end or publish it today or even soon, I just hope I finish before 12:00, when I promised myself I'd start doing some house work. On my free time I'm not feeling like doing anything, just laying in bed, staring at the ceiling or sleeping.

This week I finished watching the second season of Gen V (2023-) with my mom. It was okay, I mean, I think it's way above average for TV series, and I like that The Boys TV series has very little to do with the comics. Yeah, I do like the comics way waaay more than the show, but if I were to be seeing the same story again I'd be quite bored, and it would happen the other way too, so I hope that someone that watched and liked the show and jumped to the comics enjoyed experiencing these characters again but on a totally different story - for me, it was reading Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? after watching and enjoying Blade Runner so much.

So I was downloading for my father the stuff that was uploaded this month, and one of the movies was Wake Up Dead Man (2025) and I decided to save this one for me too to watch later with my mother, since she liked Knives Out (2019) and Glass Onion (2022). It was cool, like the other two, some fairly enjoyable entertainment.

Saturday night I was planning to go to a concert with some cover bands, some friends would be there, but a cousin I didn't see for seven years decided to visit and he arrived at 21:00, so I went to pick him up and didn't go to the show. He is staying at my father's, that night we had some pizza and watched The Penguin Lessons (2024), fucking silly name for a movie but it's actually pretty cute, perhaps melodramatic in a cheesy way, but a nice movie. The memoirs of an English man that moved to Argentina in 1976 to teach English at an upper class school right during the fascist military coup, and when the school was closed he decided to visit Uruguay, where he saved a penguin from an oil spill and was kinda forced to become its caretaker, taking it back to Argentina with him. The movie isn't actually about fascism and resistance, but you can't remove it from its background, so it's heavily political in a way, from dialogues to showing the regime kidnapping and torturing people, and the start of Madres de Plaza de Mayo, while still being very easy-going somehow.
Sunday (yesterday) we watched Superman (2025). Eh, another superhero movie. "Oh, but symbolism, Israel, Gaza." yeah, Star Wars too with the Vietnam War... yeah, it's there, but it doesn't affect the people that should be affected, and the movie is still meh (funny scene from Wake Up Dead Man, guy describing Star Wars and obviously sounding like Darth Vader and goes like "Yeah, we are like the Rebels" and that's how it works, everyone sees themselves as the heroes, always... Wake Up Dead Man has a heavy political undertone and social commetary by the way).

Almost 13:00. I know I'm spiraling out of control, it's getting worse, but somehow I felt it already early this month and got an appointment, even though I was going out and seeing people, trying to occupy myself writing here, thinking I was getting better on my own, I only got out of the comfortable numbness - which I wish I didn't. I've been untreated and unmedicated for several years already, this shit is so fuckin expensive and I'm embarassed of asking my parents for money, but on Jan 7 I'm seeing a doctor, and maybe I will be back on drugs... really, I just want to function, manage to do something without my head sabotaging me, this made-up weight holding me in place.

Eh, I feel childish for this outburst.

Imagine they got Cronenberg at his peak to direct a '50s silly family sitcom? That's Meet the Hollowheads (1989) by the make-up artist Thomas R. Burman - probably the reason he was never allowed to write or direct a movie ever again.
In a cramped and chaotic future with bizarre biotechnologies, Mr. Hollowhead will have his boss for dinner, and with a promotion at stake, Ms. Hollowhead is doing her best to get everything in order. A mix of intense colorful super soaker and high sugar cereal ads, '80s cynicism, urban decay and industrial surrealism. A pretty silly story with some great witty humor poking fun at consumerist culture and a horrendous view of the future where technology is not guided by ethics - oops, we been there for a long time.
Silly, niche, massively underrated. It deserves a cult following.

Another movie I watched recently was The Blood of Heroes (1989). In this post-apocalyptic world, teams of juggers travel from village to village to challenge local teams and collect trophies. After our hero team arrives at the ambitious main girl's village and she fucks up one of their players, she joins them to travel the wastelands jugging around... the sport? The stupidest mix of hockey, gridiron and gladiator games. If a team collects enough trophies it can challenge a team from the big league and perhaps enter it and live a life of luxury full of broken bones and shit, because if you were not born in the ruling class, being their entertainer is the only way to not die a poor farmer.
Okayish post-apocalyptic action movie. This one has a big cult following and even international Jugger competitions!

Kurosawa and Bergman are two other directors I love and I'm trying to watch their whole filmographies. They seem to be unable to make a bad movie, even in their more constrained imperial propaganda and made-for-TV productions, they are still damn great directors. I recently watched Scandal (1950) by Kurosawa, that I guess wouldn't figure in any list of his best movies, but was still a nice watch, about a famous singer that had a picture taken with a random guy and tabloids sold it as if they were having an affair, and I guess it's a critique of the Americanization stupidization of culture of its time.
The other movie I watched was Summer Interlude (1951), about a ballerina reminiscing about her past and the wounds that made her current self. Bergman is always so humane and intimate. Beautiful bittersweet movie.

This was a good last few days in my movie-watch. The Blood of Heroes was the lowest point but I still enjoyed.

Oh, I actually finished watching the first season of Alien: Earth (2025-) some time ago already.
So first episode, big ass ship falls in the middle of the city and hits some big buildings, they send search and rescue teams, and each is like six soldiers and one medic... what do they carry to search and rescue survivors on a big ship crash in apartment buildings? Big ass automatic weapons, full body armor, one single first aid kit that only the medic carries, and probably has rounded scissors. What they don't carry? Any kind of equipment to lift, cut or break debris, ropes or stuff to climb up or down, a stretcher to carry survivors... top notch search and rescue team!

So main girl was a dying girl with a mysterious illness and they put her conscience in a synthetic body, saying that's how humans are going to be immortal... oh boy, I hate that trope so much, but at least they made it clear later, and no shaming in spoiling here: You can't "transport" your conscience, it's not a metaphysical entity occupying some other dimension. Your conscience is your brain working, your brain dies so does your conscience. What is possible, however, is to program a chatbot to say it's you.

Moving forward: They get a bunch of other dying kids to turn into immortal synths and repeat the Peter Pan motto ad nauseum... of course these synth bodies aren't like the other synths from the Alien universe, they are actually super fast and strong, and why not give them the mind of a child? I mean, who has more maturity, emotional stability, focus, commitment, discipline and well developed ethics than little kids? Just give them ultimate weapons like every damn anime ever does.

Oh, main girl's brother, who believes main girl died, is the one medic of the search and rescue team. She sees him on TV and decides to go help him, so she has this guillotine paper cutter in her room, for all the paper she has to cut all the time with her full-time job of being a kid, and just turns it into a sword and puts it on her back like she has magnets or something. Main girl goes to talk to her boss, and boss thinks it's a good idea to test the kids' capabilities and take them all for a field trip, they all put on some uniform and so, but nobody thought the idea of her carrying the paper cutter on her back like it was a sword was fucking stupid, they just let her put it on her new uniform... and I have no idea how it's hanging there without a sheath or something...

Oh yeah, of course there was an alien on the ship, and it kills dozens of people in mere seconds, but whenever it finds the main girl's brother it wants to savor the moment.

So, hey, I wasn't very impressed by the first episode, it's okayish and kinda funny, incredibly anime-like, but I did actually like the series because it adds several factions everywhere. There are more human companies, there are more alien species and they are all dangerous as fuck, like everything in the universe is an apex predator that can survive in any environment, and at the end a new faction is formed... so yeah, I'm excited to keep watching, the kids are all cool. I made it sound dumb but it's pretty cool.



Oh, several entries ago I mentioned starting the fourth season of The Witcher with my father and it not being so bad. I take it back. The pacing is awful, main guy did absolutely nothing the whole season, it was like a big filler, perhaps the monsters he fights are cool quests in the game and it was an attempt at fan-service? I didn't play the games so I don't know... only thing I liked was the last fight of The Rats. I honestly don't remember much of the other seasons, I think I even liked the first season, but the other two were already tedious. So after completing The Witcher we started the third season of The Wheel of Time, and I struggled to remember what was going on with the story... that mage fight in the tower was cool, but the overall series I rank below The Witcher - although this last season was more boring than usual.

With my mom, though, she has been binge watching soap operas like hell, but she just finished one, so perhaps today we manage to watch a few more episodes of Gen V (2023-). I don't remember where we stopped, but I was enjoying it so far.

Of course I love some Mad Max shit, but the truth is that Western post-apocalyptic movies are cheesy as fuck (wait, are Australians Westerners?), only Eastern Europeans have the correct amount of depression, despair and hopelessness to nail the genre!

In A Visitor to a Museum (1989), by Konstantin Lopushansky, we see a devastated world after an ecological and societal collapse, and a man who is seeking to visit a museum that is now buried under the sea, like a forbidden fruit of wisdom that will mean his death. The director's previous work, Dead Man's Letters (1986), is one of my favorite movies ever, beautifully hopeless and nihilistic, making A Visitor to a Museum not look so depressive and oppressive, although yes, it is. It's far from a commercial movie, it's slow and contemplative, dialogues are a medium for expressing ideas instead of just moving the story forward, and the more you are paying attention, the more meaningful they are. Obviously I liked it a lot, but it's not an easy movie to recommend to people used to mainstream cinema. Also, if you were to watch Lopushansky for the first time, I'd recommend Dead Man’s Letters instead.

A Day in the Death of Joe Egg (1972), directed by Peter Medak and written by Peter Nichols, is the best movie I watched these last few days, however, it's so damn uncomfortable it's hard to rate it. Supposedly a black comedy (and I have no trouble laughing at fucked up stuff), it managed to break me. It's about a couple taking care of a nearly brain-dead daughter, the toll it has taken on their lives and relationship, and the way they found to still function. Brutal and honest, I think it takes a while for the movie to find the right pacing and for the deep emotional scars to leak through the morbidity of the situation. Strongly acted, painful, funny somehow, I tried to take some screenshots, but the funny scenes and dialogues just look of poor taste without its crushing context.

I love Luis Buñuel and I'm trying to watch his whole filmography, and even in his most boring, uninspired, commercial pictures made out of contractual obligations, he can't help but let transpire through his work his disdain for the ruling class, the bourgeois hypocrisy and the corrupt essence of the society of appearances. A Woman Without Love (1952) is one of these movies. An adaptation of a Guy de Maupassant story, it's a competent melodrama, but I struggle to highlight anything, and even though I can't say there is anything bad either, I guess even in its time the reaction must have been "Yep, that's a movie".

The other "meh" entry here is Powaqqatsi (1988), by Godfrey Reggio. His previous experimental non-narrative documentary Koyaanisqatsi (1982) is pretty iconic, a bombardment of short sequences about humanity, technology, industrialization and nature, that without saying a single word, forces you to narrate and link the images together in your mind, letting it roam through free association. Powaqqatsi is more third-world focused, but it repeats the formula, losing its impact.

I keep watching low-budget sci-fi stuff in hopes of striking gold (and I did several times), but this also means digging through a lot of crap. One of the movies I watched recently was Et Skud Fra Hjertet (1986), and it's not all bad, it's a group of soldiers having to transport a dangerous political prisoner in some post-apocalyptic world, the transport is attacked and our main character, who now has to survive the wilderness with the prisoner, comes to question the system and shit. It has a somewhat interesting ambiguous ending but it doesn't make up for the poor general production and overall dull directing and script.
I watched Robot Jox (1989) when I was a kid but I could never find that movie again. Not knowing its name, whenever I tried to search it online the only results I'd get were Pacific Rim. Thanks to Letterboxd I found it and decided to start watching the other entries of that universe. Crash and Burn (1990) takes place several years after the events of the first movie, the story isn't really connected, and the worldbuilding is way more coherent and interesting, but it's still a bad low-budget sci-fi that dabbles in interesting themes but doesn't make a good story or production out of it.
I also watched Death Collector (1988), Deadly Reactor (1989) and Star Slammer (1986), let's just call them awful, horrible and kill-me-now.
I also watched Droid (1988), it's been a while since I downloaded it and I had no idea what it was, for starters it's a very bad movie, but it's funny in its own way... well, it's a cheesy dystopian neo-noir erotic movie. While I found Droid pretty meh, there are some cool erotic movies out there. I absolutely love Things to Come (1976) and Café Flesh (1982) - this one is actually porn, but very trippy, surreal and depressive porn. Is porn even worth it if it does not give you existential dread? Love Café Flesh.

My last post got me reminiscing about teenage drunk adventures, but mostly with the adults around not caring... there was this one time, around 15 or 16, a friend of mine was going to go out with his girlfriend but her cousin from other city was visiting that weekend and they wanted someone to keep the cousin company. I didn't even ask for details, the idea of a "double-date" didn't even cross my mind, I was going even for literal baby-sitting if that was the case - because that's what friends do -, but the girl was only one or two years younger than me. My mom was going to the store so I asked her to bring me two bottles of wine, which should be enough to start the night.

I got to my friend's place, his mother was there but she was cool as fuck and used to seeing us drunk, and the girls were there, and we started drinking, but it was just me and the cousin because the couple got busy doing naked couple things in the bedroom. I wish I remember anything about that time we were just drinking and talking there, I have no idea how I entertained her but, given the results of the night, I did a hell of a job, and it's a skill I wish I still had. The girl was actually pretty fun and spontaneous, also pretty pretty. So we downed those two bottles waiting for the couple, and after we left the house we were walking downtown, somehow, we ended up having a piggyback race... she probably just jumped on my back and the couple decided to race us, I don't remember the results, but I do remember that when she was going to dismount she let her arms go before I let her legs go so she just kinda pivoted and hit the back of her head on the pavement. In my mind I was like "fuuuuck, I messed up hard!" but she just got up and laughed it off - the wonders of being drunk haha.

I don't remember much more of the night. Where we stopped, who we met, how much more we drank, just that later we went to a square that had a public fountain because that was the place the girls were going to take the bus back home, and the place was empty, and obviously we, drunk as fuck, went for a swim (the couple weren't as drunk nor wanted to get wet I guess). At one point I was going to get out of the fountain, she grabbed my arm, pulled me back to the water and kissed me... boy, in my head it looked like a movie scene, but I know drunk people making out doesn't look so good from the outside, and we just spent some time there in the water... we were probably being very noisy before when we were climbing the fountain and playing, someone had called the cops, and this is another set of adults of that night that didn't care about us being drunk at all, they were pretty cool actually, just told us to not go back to the fountain. Not much later the girls took the last bus home, my friend and I walked back to his place, and further developments don't matter, I never heard of her again.

I can't remember her face, and I'm not even sure I remember her name correctly (dude, I'm talking about time here, not alcohol), even though it's a night I will never forget... maybe she feels the same? Or was she embarrassed when she sobered up the next morning? She was a fantastic girl, though, how did I not try to stay in touch? Well, same reason I didn't even think of that night as a double-date... I was kinda already involved with someone at the time... oopsie.



Tomorrow I go back to commenting on movies. Watched quite a few good and bad things these days.

I watched Another Round (2020) the other day. My uncle had recommended it to my father so I downloaded it for him but saved it for me to watch too. Do you like Mads Mikkelsen? It was a quite nice movie. I liked how natural they are about it, a bunch of high schoolers getting wasted and no one being judgmental about it, let the kids have fun. This is something that feels familiar to me, and I'm glad to see it's still natural in other places, and that bores me to death when I see American moralism. I remember my first year of high school, here we usually are 14 and turn 15 in the middle of it, the rich girls in my class made big birthday parties, but they wanted boys to wear tuxedo or some shit, dance waltz, and like hell I was spending money on that lameass Barbie-dream, those parties were probably boring as fuck, I didn't go to any, however, the few boys that had big parties it was basically renting a place with a pool and a sports field, getting some food, and tons of alcohol that the parents themselves were providing... so we'd spend the day at the pool, play volleyball or something, and get drunk.
... yeah, technically, it was illegal as fuck, you have to be 18 to drink, but if parents are watching, only those "karen"-type would care.

Perhaps I should have saved this rant for Old Man Yells at Cloud, but I'm not feeling like elaborating enough. Quoting my bio: "Here we used to start to go out and get wasted around 12 to 14, so when we are around 20 to 22 we had already partied so hard and fucked around so much that we are ready to become responsible adults. Isn't it better to be irresponsible idiots when you indeed have no responsibilities, and give a good use to all those puberty hormones?".

I had a bit of a cold, it was raining heavily when I left home so I got a bit wet when going to the gig too. I was wearing a mask and didn't shake hands with anyone and tried to stay in a corner when bands were playing, I hope I didn't spread anything to anyone... anyway, today I'm feeling like crap (the cold got worse).

Today I was trying to get in touch with people from that other city I used to play, checked my phone contacts and only one still had a profile picture (so the others changed number), last time I saw them was 2019. The guy I still had contact with was the drummer of the band I used to play, Suco de Lixo, but he also would play in a band called Grotesque, and they are the ones I was trying to get in touch with. He told me he left the band some time ago but it's still going on with other people, only the original bassist remains there (great guy, last time I crashed at his place I forgot my favorite cap there, a trucker hat from the band Rot - grindcore since 1990, I wonder if he still has it...), and then he hit me with the obituary, three of our friends died since we last talked... shit...

Spent a few hours today talking to a friend about cultural production and so. He was my ride last gig so I could have some beer, I was going to be his ride this gig but he got a cold and is not going, I also got a bit of a cold, it rained a lot this week, but I'm going... still about 4h to get ready and leave and I'm kinda too anxious thinking I don't have time to finish writing this entry even though I don't plan to write much.

Do you have panettones in your country? They are very traditional here. I found this very good brand, they make a very good panettone with pistachio cream, I bought some back in November, they were about BRL$20 each (about USD$3.70) - and now close to Christmas they are already around BRL$60.
I didn't buy any for me, this last week I went around giving it to people I like, none of which I have a close friendship with but I do consider friends even though we kinda have a more "professional" relationship, like the two girls from my mom's physiotherapy, the owner of a veterinary clinic that helped me so much in a big rescue, his son that is a veterinary, and the secretary that is also kinda the manager (and she got pretty emotional when I gave it to her) and also another guy that takes care of his petshop, the guy that fixes my computers and refuses to charge because we always talk a lot and laugh and we kinda help each other when it's needed - like, a few weeks ago I went to his house and he had a flat tire and no spare, so I put my spare on his car so he could at least drive to the tire shop later, but this friendship doesn't have anything to do with his work and I hate that he doesn't charge me when he fixes stuff for me (I went to his house that day because I needed to fix my mom's All-in-One PC screen), there is also this other veterinary that does house calls and I went to her clinic to give her one and one to her sister too, and they also got super happy. Well, one of the people that I gave a panettone to we do have a close relationship, it's my cousin and since we were little we have always been best friends, and then I had one last and decided to give it to this lady I know, she is a seamstress and several times made me surgical clothes for my pets, and she has about 60 rescued dogs on her property, whenever I get donations - because I'm kinda known in my neighborhood (I also have a lot of rescued pets) I take stuff to her, when I have spare medicine as well. She also seems to be very lonely, whenever I go there she gets very happy and we talk for hours, and she also fucking refuses to charge me when I ask for stuff, some years ago she gave me some knitted socks that are great and I would like to have more but I don't want to ask because I know she will refuse to charge me! Anyway, she also got very emotional when I gave her a panettone, she told me her mother died recently and she was very down and she doesn't have many people to talk to, so I'm glad I randomly showed up at her door.

Except for my cousin, all of those people I just see when it's related to their work, I don't even remember the last time I saw this seamstress lady, as I said we are not "close friends", but I do consider them all my friends, I just suck at keeping in touch, but I'm happy that I surprised them and made them happy :)

I did close to nothing so far this month, hence the only other entry was the previous one about a gig.
I did, however, watch a few movies and try to play a few games. I watched One Battle After Another (2025), which everyone talked so highly about, but I read the synopsis and wasn't very impressed. I thought maybe it would be something like Scorsese or Guy Ritchie, since people mentioned black comedy. I wasn't expecting it to be so in-your-face political, and I can see how it resonates with Americans now more than ever, but the movie itself, I honestly didn't care much.
I also picked some of the movies that have been sitting on my HDD since August. Since I created my Letterboxd account and added tons of stuff, I created a method to go clearing that up, moving by decade with a mix of guilty-pleasure genre picks (which includes a lot of very bad movies), priority picks (highly recommended stuff or things I always wanted to watch), and random picks that come from random recommendations or directors I like or simply because I've watched other entries in the same series.

Pigsty (1969) by Pasolini... meh. I don't know if I'm in an awful mood or what, but Pasolini is hit or miss for me. Yeah, he often uses very witty and funny symbolism, Teorema (1968) is one of my favorite movies ever, but Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) is so thoroughly revolting that, despite how artsy and witty the whole thing actually is, it's not something I can put myself through again. Also, sometimes his dialogue gets pretty tiring, which is what I felt with Pigsty, even though literally half the movie doesn't even have dialogue, lol.
I did enjoy it more than One Battle After Another, but it's not a movie I'd recommend or rewatch.

I watched The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 (1984) and it's pure crap. I'm putting on my list a lot of movies I want to rewatch, and I had rewatched some time ago Cyborg (1989), a Van Damme crapfest that nails the post-apocalyptic visuals mixed with a cyberpunk story but is obviously still a crappy movie. I wanted to write a review for it, and I often use duck.ai to grammar-check me if I'm in doubt about the words I'm using. I wrote something like "Has Van Damme ever made a movie that isn't gay porn?" in the middle of the review, and instead of grammar checking the review the AI was like, "Hey, it's not nice to say those things about a public figure. Van Damme has never made porn and he is not gay, those are only rumors"... like, fucking robots, I just want you to check if I used the idioms correctly.
So, anyway, I had Cyborg 2 (1993) on my list, and somehow all those crappy '80s and '90s action movies have even crappier and cheaper sequels with a bunch of nobodies playing the roles, and the main nobody here was Angelina Jolie lol. It was her first main role in a movie. She plays a Fucknator, a Terminator rip-off that is actually a sex doll. They want to use her in a suicide orgasm bombing, but she escapes and has to navigate the corporate conspiracy before the timer for her explosive climax runs out... yeah, awful movie as well.

About gaming: I tried playing Red Faction II (2002), but it felt like a downgrade from the first game in every aspect. Next, I installed NecroVision (2009), but I played very little. The gameplay is fun and so far so good, but the dialogue and voice acting are quite weak, and you meet people wanting to talk to you in the middle of battle and they fucking talk so much. You either stand still or skip the whole dialogue. They could have really used a better writer.

What's worse than stepping on a puddle on a bar toilet?
Stepping on a puddle on a bar toilet while wearing flip-flops.

I'm a flip-flop man. It's a tropical country, it's hot all the time, I'm not wearing socks. When I was a teenager I'd use uncomfortable second-hand combat boots because punk, but it's been a long long time since I lost the battle to comfortable clothing. I don't go to gigs with flip-flops on purpose, for me it's just so natural that I leave home and when I get there I'm like "Damn, I forgot to put on some shoes", so I throw my flip-flops at some corner and go barefoot to the moshpit. When gigs are chaotic my feet get stomped a lot, once I lost a huge chunk of a toenail, but you know, just pour some alcohol on it, for feeling it is a problem for tomorrow-you.
So this Sunday afternoon I went to this local antifascist gig. It was quite cool, a guy who had moved to this city recently went around finding people with bands and got a place for them to play. I met a lot of cool people and old friends, we are all living in hiding it seems. I saw this old friend, he was in one of the bands that was going to play and it was their first gig, but he had other bands in the past, so we were catching up and he was like "Man, I don't see you since we took that van to that gig in x city..." and I was like "No dude, last time we met was that party in that dude's house, what's his name, you were all sniffing glue... wait... isn't that him over there?" and I pointed at the guy and the guy saw me "Hey, I know you! You were in that party we were all sniffing glue!". And it turns out, he is the guitarist of the band. See, glue bonds people together as well - no one there is so junkie actually, it was more of a joke, they were talking about being teenage junkies, and they were all on the second day of an alcohol-cocaine fueled party celebrating the birthday of a friend who was living in Norway but came to visit, and the guy said "Hey, I have shoe glue from work in the basement. Let's go sniff it!"... it's not like they are hooked on glue, glue is for kids after all, and I didn't take part in it, while the whole group spent the whole night drinking in the streets and partying who knows where I had gone home to shower and sleep, and the next day in that guy's house I just slept on the floor somewhere in the living room while they were doing lines and blasting death metal at 6am. For me it was easy to sleep, for I was hammered, but the neighbors must have loved it haha - I got up, everyone was still drinking, and the party went on the next day as well.
So back to this Sunday, all the bands were local. It started with Transporte Público that played punk covers ranging from Dead Kennedys to The Hives and they had one song of their own that they played at the end. Next was No Safe Place, it was just covers, one Ramones, one Bad Religion, one The Distillers, one Nirvana, sadly tons of Green Day. Then Camellia Rose Tree, very trippy experimental rock, and it was great because it set the ambient right for the anti-music that was coming. The next was my friend's band, Sagawa, some heavily political grindcore that got everyone to the moshpit and the show was great, people really loved it, after the gig a lot of people went to talk to them because they had never seen anything like that. In this city all there is are cover bands of classic rock or of those pop early '00s new metal bands like Linkin Park and System of a Down. Last played the melodic hardcore/emocore band Fatigati, who organized the event, with covers from other Brazilian bands like Dance of Days, Hateen, Street Bulldogs, and a few songs of their own as well.
Fatigati and Transporte Público are playing next week in another bar, along with two other bands that look like grunge covers... eh, I have to go out more anyway. My friend singing in Sagawa said on the mic how hard it was for them to play, they have had this band in the garage since 2018 but never played, they don't have social media, never recorded anything, he talked about social phobia, depression, anxiety, and you know what, those are things we talked about in that aforementioned glue sniffing party as well. We go out, even get pumped to meet again, but soon we get burnt out and spend years recharging our social batteries... the guys thought that party was like 8 years ago, but I think it was only 5, right before the pandemic lockdown... anyway, as he talked about that on the mic, he also mentioned he was sure everyone there was also struggling with something, so I saw a lot of people going to talk to him about that after the show as well. After this gig the band was really pumped, especially because of how well they were received. I hope they play more, I want to get them in touch with the people I know from other places to see if they can get some touring. I feel like my current city is sitting in a cultural vacuum. Every other place I have been has such a huge exchange with other cities (more of my underground experience in my bio), everyone knows everyone, everywhere you go you find people with friends in common and you automatically bond, and here no one knows anything, they kinda know there are gigs in the capital and so, but that's it, the place kinda never developed an underground scene, and shows like Sagawa, with this pure underground energy, are so exotic that... well, I personally saw several people talking to the band and saying they loved it, they really needed it, there was this guy saying it was the first time he had seen a moshpit. It was a great fun time.

I always complain that there is nothing in this city. I failed my early attempts of getting a band together here and ended up playing in another city. I remember in 2014 the Newtown Neurotics, maybe the first anarcho-syndicalist punk band ever, formed in the UK in 1979 (for early anarchopunk bands were basically middle-class hippies showing contempt for working-class movements), were touring Brazil and we somehow got them to play here with Juventude Maldita (a great anarchist punk band from São Paulo that has been around since the '90s) as the supporting act, and we got like 20 paying entries, mostly it was some old biker couples sitting at tables. We were like 4 people standing to watch the bands, all because on the same day some System of a Down or Guns N' Roses cover band was playing for the millionth time in some other bar and everyone went to watch that crap instead. I kinda gave up the city that day... (in late 2019 a friend of mine made a cool party here just DJing 77 punk and early post-punk, and a lot of people showed up, so we were pumped and wanted to get some bands to play here, but then 2020 happened lol). I talked to Fatigati and they are great people, and even though musically it's not much my thing, I guess I'm going to try to follow them around just to be there, because they want to make something in this city. I was talking to Transporte Público as well and just a few months ago they made a punk gig with No Safe Place and a few other melodic bands, I missed it. All the guys from Transporte Público were waiters in this bar, they formed the band and checked with the owner if they could play there and they got the other bands to play too, and regardless if it's just covers or it's melodic, that's punk as fuck. He said they have played a few times alone with a 1h30 to 2h set, so that's a ton of covers with probably a lot of mainstream stuff, but for this gig Sunday they had a 30min punk set, and I encouraged them to write more songs like the one they played in the end. They seem to be up to doing something as well, and they are the ones organizing next week's show, with Fatigati and grunge covers, so I'm going to be there, but I hope one day we get fewer covers.

* Sagawa playing in the picture. I took only a handful of pictures with my shitty camera, and the only one that is not awfully blurred seems like it was taken right when some light was pointing at the lens, ouch.



edit 2026/01/26: While I was clearing my phone looking for pictures of my pets, I ended up finding a picture of one the days of the aforementioned birthday party in some WhatsApp files. What a grateful surprise.

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023) is cute in the expected French Canadian way. I liked it, but Martin (1977) is still my favorite vampire movie.

Today I watched two other movies I just downloaded. Don't Worry Darling (2022) is a good movie, but because I'm a huge sci-fi fan I've seen that theme being explored so many times already it's kinda old. The production and direction are quite good, however, there is a new angle to the story and when I went to log the movie on Letterboxd I understood better how it resonated with people. While it usually has a broader critique of capitalism or humanity, Don't Worry Darling is also about... well, watch it.
The Artificial Girl (2022), the other movie I watched today, on the other hand, is meh. I guess one could find it interesting if they haven't dived into better works about AI. You can really see it was written before 2022 because they get astonished the chatbot was making pictures and poetry. The big problem is that this classical "machines magically have feelings" trope has very little to do with the actual impacts of technology on society, and I hope this new pareidolia soon gets a real name and psychological treatment - doesn't need to be anything fancy, beating people with sticks the moment they start empathizing with computers should suffice.

My father has just a cheap cellphone internet plan. I gave him my old laptop and every month I download tons of movies and series for him to watch (plugged on the TV). He does watch subs but he prefers dubs because then he can watch while eating with more ease. A few series we watch together new seasons came out long ago, but because I didn't find dubbed download links I always forget to download them (The Handmaid's Tale, Snowpiercer, Outlander, Kleo...) and we end up watching other stuff instead. So month is ending and I was downloading the stuff uploaded this month, I pick anything IMDB 6+ excluding horror movies (and Christmas movies, blargh!), I do however save some movies for me to watch too.
I had work this morning, but because my mother hasn't been well I decided to stay at home, which was good because she didn't wake up well, but today we were starting new medication and she seemed to get better through the day. While she slept I watched the new Frankenstein (2025). I have watched tons of Frankenstein movies, I quite like the novel, but movies are the vast majority pretty bad. So this one took a lot of liberty to change some stuff and make them flashier, and was somewhat close to that 90's version with Deniro, but unlike it, it wasn't boring. This might have been the first good Frankenstein movie that is actually based on the book. It did cut that convoluted part of their relationship going back and forth with the assassinations and the female creature, which I think was a good call, but when the credits rolled and I saw it was a Guillermo del Toro adaptation, I was kinda disappointed because despite being a good movie I wouldn't have guessed he was the director, it felt kinda "too safe".
While I didn't like previous adaptations, in Frankenstein-inspired movies, I liked Frankenstein (2015) by Bernard Rose - scientists are trying to develop a superior human, but after a failure in the cell replication process they decide to terminate the specimen, but did they? - and Depraved (2019) by Larry Fessenden - it's about a field surgeon with PTSD that is trying to develop a method to save soldiers, reattach limbs and so on, being sponsored by a rich friend in the pharmaceutical industry that wants to test a new drug. The Frankenstein Chronicles (2015-2017) was also quite nice, it's a British miniseries where Mary Shelley herself, and her book, are in the story. It's a kind of alternative meta narrative, a Victorian mystery murder thriller where even William Blake, Lord Byron and Ada Lovelace show up. And I can't ignore Flesh for Frankenstein (1973) by Paul Morrissey and produced by Andy Warhol. Shitty acting and production, but a very fun and bizarre trashy movie with a great ending.

At the moment I'm watching Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2023), I just downloaded it because a dub was uploaded this month, but I'm watching it subbed. I'm about half-way through but I had to stop to do house-stuff and then decided to sit to write about the day. So far a very cute movie.

I haven't installed any of those games yet, gonna need a breather before it. My mom had a rough week, I took her to a different doctor today, she is ok now, but anxiety makes it hard to focus, so besides watching Fallout (2024-) I didn't do much this week, all these gaming comments are from weeks ago already.
So just to finish that gaming series and try to catch up with the present, I'm going to talk about the last game, The Technomancer (2016).
Compared to Mars: War Logs (2013), this is a huge improvement. The combat, skills and other stats, and items are much more varied. Although an RPG, it's more of an action game. After I got a bit of the mechanics and how stuff worked, about halfway through the first act I decided to restart the game with a more focused build, and the first time I played the first boss I wasn't sure I beat it or not because my life was low and its arms were off the screen, I wasn't seeing if it was swinging at me most of the time, I just saw a cutscene of me being beaten and then saved by my master. But the second time I played, my life was almost full because now I knew combat better, and I saw the same cutscene and again wasn't sure if it hit me with something or what, so I went to check online if it's possible to beat the first boss or if it will always defeat you (it will), and I saw tons of comments complaining about this game's combat being too hard... what? You just hit hit dodge hit hit dodge and you beat the game!
The game is not very complex, but faction, characters, everything, is way better, it was cool enough to keep me entertained without having to stress out about "meta" gaming like some tough RPGs. And as I got engaged I did explore everything in the game, I spent 98% of the time overburdened and spinning-dodge through the city because I couldn't run for I was carrying too much weight - doing pirouettes while jumping is obviously way less tiring than just running.
Oh, one thing to complain though, default controls are pretty dumb, I hate when games try to reinvent the wheel by changing controls to weird stuff. Main attack is left click, cool, secondary attack is like space or ctrl, one of these is the special attack too, and right click is dodge... I configured it to work like the first game, which was good.

Not feeling like writing today, but I did: I have played Aliens vs Predator, Bioforge, Dredd vs Death and F.E.A.R. before though.

Yep, the first season of Fallout (2024-) was quite nice.
Back to gaming, the next game I played was Mars: War Logs (2013), the name is kinda generic and unattractive, but the game has this mix of cyberpunk and post-apocalyptic atmosphere I like. Gameplay was quite fun, although I don't have much to say about the writing... at first I honestly thought there was a kinda homoerotic dom/sub fetish going on. First thing that happens, you save a little twink from being raped by the only fat and non-manly guy in the whole game, and as the twink comes to thank you, you can reply "How do you know I didn't do it just to keep you for myself?". Every time you can be pretty abusive towards your twink, but of course I never picked any of the rude lines, so I don't know how it plays out - I became more of father figure to him I guess, daddy kink much? Meanwhile, every woman you help is throwing herself at you because you are just so manly and have these manly man-jaws and sideburns, but you are so stoic and manly that you don't even react to the freebie prostitutes offer you after saving them - because, apparently, that's the first thing someone who has just been through such violence would do. However, not much later you save a very submissive loli who has been a victim of sexual violence her whole life, and she immediately wants to have sex with you too, and this time you can react to it. If you deny, she is often perplexed about why you aren't having sex with her, and wonders if you are instead fucking the twink, seems like some otaku wrote the character... the romance options are all with girls though.
The gameplay and combat are cool enough, my only complaint would be about the abundance of crafting materials but very very little to craft, there are very few items in the game. If this game had come out like 10 years earlier, I believe it would have been a cult classic, but for 2013, it's kinda inexpressive and so outmatched by other games.
The next game I played was The Technomancer (2016), a paraquel of War Logs, and such a huge improvement! I will talk about it some other day.

Some other day I continue with the talk about games, only two left from my last GOG purchase, and I already beat both.
I watched the second season of The Last of Us (2023-), brutal! So far it's following the game very closely. I'm so angry this season was so short, I wanted to keep watching. My father has watched it too, I guess he empathized hard with Joel because his first comment was about how annoying Ellie is haha (me: But she is a teenager. him: She is already 19, fuck off.)
Right now I'm 6/8 episodes into Fallout (2024-) and also quite liking it. I absolutely love the classic Fallout games, and surely the TV series is not in the same tone as the first, very grim, game, but the second did lighten up the stuff and added a lot of black humor. I'm not a fan of the Bethesda games, I only played Fallout 3 and New Vegas, and I do think they are good games, but the narrative tone is so different from the classic... the humor also used to be more mature and fucked up than the Bethesda PG games. I mean, not many games let you be an underage gigolo drug-addicted porn-star child-killer grave-digger gay-married mobster who sold your partner to slavery and bet your butthole in arm-wrestling against a super mutant... oh yeah, also thanks to Fallout 2 I know what a fluffer is - it was a hard job, but someone had to do it. We need more educative games like that.

The next game I installed was SiN (1998), which I knew because of an okayish but generic cyberpunk OVA. The game is ok, feels like something between Half-Life and Deus Ex with a faster, Quake-like gameplay - however, the story never gets as intriguing as Half-Life, nor does it have the RPG elements of Deus Ex. The game was ok, if you like old FPS that's a game to try once. My only highlight is the "hacking" part: when you navigate computers you actually have to use DOS commands, so it feels way more "hackish" than other cyberpunk games, even though you are literally just using regular DOS commands like cd and dir.
After SiN I tried to play Slave Zero (1999) but I couldn't get it to run with any compatibility patch, so I went to Red Faction (2001) and it was quite a nice surprise. The gameplay reminded me a lot of Half-Life, which is a big plus for me, the story is pretty fast-paced and okay enough, I mean, very generic with generic characters, but I really liked the destruction mechanics and how many paths you had... I used to be very completionist, I'd explore every path to the end to see what I could find, but not in my current mood. At the start of the game I started going around through the maze of tunnels and using explosives to open more ways, but I got tired and just progressed, and from there I'd just pick whatever path and go with it. However, it seemed like I was going very far from places that looked like I should be going, I don't know if the game has multiple paths that lead you to different objectives or just several ways to reach the same destination.
The part about the destruction mechanics: sometimes you see a ventilation shaft at the side of a mountain and you can go placing explosive charges or using rockets to destroy the mountain so you can climb there and get into the shaft - and yeah, it leads you somewhere. There was this place where they retracted a bridge, so I jumped in the icy water below and swam until I reached a station, I didn't see if there was a way out of the station, but there was a way further through the water so I jumped back. Unfortunately I took the wrong turn and ended up on the bridge again, so instead of going all the way back I just carved a path I could climb to the other side. Near the end of the game I was following this main character and we arrived at a hangar with a bigass ship and it felt like I should be going in there, but I saw a side door at the hangar and went there instead, and kept going and going and going, it had tons of those annoying gunships, and I thought maybe I was walking through another path to reach that hangar and I would have to walk all the way back later, but instead I ended up on a giant empty depot and I saw a ladder and climbed and moved jumping through the metal frames at the ceiling and then I saw two of those gunships just hovering there, like they were waiting for me to approach by the floor so it could trigger a cutscene. I literally dropped a bomb from above on them and the fight started, after that another gunship appeared, I destroyed it and from there the last boss showed up... it was kind of anti-climatic, and I kinda felt like there was supposed to be something on the bigass ship I ignored in the hangar... does this game have multiple paths to take? I don't plan on finding out anytime soon. But Red Faction was quite fun.



* random screenshot I picked from MobyGames.

Continuing with my recent gaming... I didn't feel like finishing the TIM trilogy, though, and didn't install the last two games. My next one was Frostpunk (2018), a survival city-building game. I've been wanting to play this one for a long time, and I'm really looking forward to playing the second game when it's on my price range.
Because I like to city-build very tidy and organized, how uneven stuff worked kinda ruined replayability for me – I did beat all maps and played a bit of the Endless Mode though.
The game is great and can get very chaotic and drive up your anxiety. The first map on normal difficulty was driving me crazy already. All the weather fluctuations, barely being able to keep my city "chilly", too many people getting sick, then you reach the point you have to choose between Order and Faith to keep the city together, and like hell I'm going to start a religion, so I turned out to be a fucking fascist, but, gosh, people asked for it! Everyone fucking sick, not enough food, I barely being able to keep my generator going and the fuckers at the coal mine were like "wE DoN't WaNt tO WoRk TOdAy, wE WaNt To sPeND tHE dAY PrAYinG", fuck it, time to build the Execution Platform!
Not once I picked the Faith path, but considering how depressing the whole game is, if Faith doesn't turn your city into a caste society ruled by pedos I'm going to be very disappointed.

This morning I was going to help my father at work but he didn't sleep well and decided to take a lazy day. We started watching the fourth season of The Witcher. Not nearly as bad as internet drama suggests, but it also doesn't mean it's good, it's just more entertainment for the forever-bored species.
I also watch series with my mother, I've been living with her since she got sick (more in my bio), but somehow it's harder for us to get together and sit to watch stuff. Recently we watched Daredevil: Born Again (we watched together all the Marvel Netflix series, and when the standard for superhero series was crap like Smallville, Daredevil was quite a breath of fresh air), finished the fourth season of The Umbrella Academy (I liked the first season, the second had its moment. The third and fourth bleh) and the second season of Poker Face (I also liked the first season, the second had way more lows than highs... barely any high...) and we started watching the second season of Gen V (2023-). Gen V is ok, but it's getting harder to care much about The Boys (2019-) (more of my thoughts on the comics and the series on this blog rant). After Gen V we gonna start the second season of Peacemaker (2022-). I found the first season pretty funny, my cousin already watched the second and said it isn't on par... let's wait.
I wasn't watching much stuff lately, if you read my other entries, I was more killing time with gaming, and probably tomorrow I will go back talking about gaming, but I decided to download some series I've been postponing for awhile, which includes all of these I watched/am watching/going to watch with my mother, but also others that I want to watch alone because I want to pay more attention and potentially take a lot of screenshots, it includes the second season of The Last of Us (2023-) (I really liked the first one), Alien: Earth, Fallout (I'm not highlighting these because I still don't know if they are worth it) and the second season of Andor (2022-2025).

I actually finished Andor already the other day, and man, what a fucking great series! Rogue One (2016) is the only Star Wars movie I really like, however, I don't think it would have the impact it has without the Original Trilogy. The Original Trilogy, eh, I think it's ok, I grew up with it having a legendary status but I was never a big fan. I guess they are worth watching at least once because of its cultural impact (the other trilogies, I only recommend if you really really liked the first), but for classic sci-fi blockbuster I'd take 2001: A Space Odyssey over Star Wars easily any day. Rogue One is not a big epic about legendary heroes whose names are going down in history, no, it's about the lives and sacrifices of those whose names aren't going down in history, but, well, without them, you wouldn't have an history. Andor is a prequel to Rogue One, diving deeper into the formative years of the Rebellion. Although the chronological order is Andor &#62; Rogue One &#62; Original Trilogy, for them to have the impact they should you must watch in the release order of Original Trilogy &#62; Rogue One &#62; Andor.
For those who are not completely alienated from history and current events, it's easy to see that everything in Andor has already happened and is happening right now right here.

Thinking about watching order, and Rogue One and Andor not being that great without the Original Trilogy. I mentioned liking Marvel Zombies (2025) in that other post, but I guess if one was to watch it without any previous Marvel knowledge they wouldn't enjoy it that much as well.

ps: I just noticed how much superhero crap I mentioned here. I swear superhero crap isn't the only thing I watch!

I've been very distant from "the scene" for years, and a few months back, when I made the BR Punk Player, I decided to check my old Facebook and post to a few groups and share with people I knew, and then I discovered that just a few days prior to it a woman had been beaten to death in a punk gig in the capital over a petty internet discussion and it made me sick to my stomach, the kind of thing that automatically made me want to keep away from "the scene", and I even knew one of the murderers from years back...
This last Saturday I was watching that hardcore band and I talked to a friend I didn't see in a while, we ended up talking about that case and how senseless that shit is, a bunch of 40s and 50s year olds playing The Warriors saying they are a gang, kicking the head of someone on the ground... anyway, that same friend just messaged me that this Sunday in that same place there was a hardcore gig and a 13 year old girl was drugged and raped... what the fuck is happening!? I feel so sick.

My desperation to fight the boredom brought me back to GOG. I decided to buy some new games following my rule of less than BRL$10 (USD$2) but also only buying what's at least 75% off. I bought 7 games, and at this moment I'm playing the last one - these diary entries will eventually catch up with the present.
The first time I saw a PC was my cousin's, it had Windows 95, and perhaps many of you youngsters don't know but Windows wouldn't launch when you started the PC, you had to start Windows on DOS by typing win, but my cousin had this DOS game, and if instead of typing win you typed tim it would start The Incredible Machine (1993), a very fun puzzle game. A pack with the trilogy and its expansions fit my criteria and it was the first game I installed - really like 30 years since I last played it.

Another boring day trying to not get consumed by the void. Back to my recent gaming... I actually didn't finish Far Cry 2. As I said, the game gets exhausting, and I wanted to format my laptop, get a clean install, and start a more privacy-oriented setup.
After the new setup, I looked at my GOG again and didn't find anything I really wanted to play. I didn't want anything too complicated, I'm not really invested or excited, I'm basically gaming just to divert my attention from the void, so I looked at my mobile.
I never cared about cellphones. Up until 2019 I only had a dumbphone, then I bought a Samsung J2 Core, the cheapest non–second-hand phone I could find - it was about BRL$400 (around USD$75), and I'm still using it. Back then I tried several mobile games, some big-IP gacha crap, some random idlers and TCGs that were also gacha crap... it feels like everything on the Play Store is either an ad or a casino simulator. In the end the only games I kept were some Sudoku, Minesweeper, Dominoes, etc, that I could play offline.
I did, however, really like a couple of games and ended up buying their full versions - the first games I ever bought legally!
Solitairica (2016) is a very solid Solitaire-RPG game. Back then I couldn't for the life of me beat the game with the Rogue deck, so this time I left that deck for last, but after having some trouble with the Barbarian I decided to try the Rogue and beat both difficulties on the first try - I lucked out hard, I guess. So, for the first time, I actually completed the game.
The other game is Rebel Inc. (2018), a very intense strategy game, but since then they released tons of new content and aggressively try to sell it, which was a big letdown - the game is still very fun, just harder to recommend now. Another game I liked a lot was Night of the Full Moon (2017), and I wanted to buy the full version but at the time there was some bug in the payment system and I gave up. Very cool game though, I hope it didn't get shitfied with monetization.

Since my father moved to my current city (more in my bio) we spend at least one day a week together binge-watching series. Today we watched the last episode of the second season of Silo, an okayish series but not really something I'd recommend. There are tons of series we're following where new seasons were released two years ago already and we still couldn't catch up. We decided to watch Marvel Zombies (2025) next because it was short and we try to keep up with the MCU crap (still need to watch Ironheart and Thunderbolts)... yeah, we keep up with the MCU crap. In fact, we've watched every single Marvel-related crap, including shit like Inhumans, Runaways, Helstrom, The Gifted... and like the MCU movies, they're great because you can have full conversations and cook while watching and you don't miss a thing. I prefer to watch serious stuff I actually want to pay attention to alone. Anyway, of course we watched What If...? before. The second and third seasons were absolute crap, but the first season had a few good episodes, and the zombies one was one of the coolest. Marvel Zombies continues from that, and this series was actually pretty cool and I do recommend it. From the whole MCU, this might be the only entry I actually liked - although I think they milked the ending for too long, a single flash at that part would have been more impactful (I also liked Hit-Monkey (2021-), but it's not really part of the MCU, and I still haven't watched the second season).



I came back home, took a nap, woke up around 17:00 (5pm), and saw a message from a friend that a local hardcore band would be playing in someone's yard. I took a quick shower and headed there. The flyer said the band would start at 17:00, but they never do, however, when I arrived around 17:30 they were already playing. Some melodic hardcore/emocore - not so bad, but too melodic for me. They played their own songs, but I recognized a few covers, like Dance of Days and Chuva Negra. The bad thing about having a car now is that I no longer drink, and the rain was getting heavier. The next band was going to be some hard rock covers and I wasn't up for that. A bunch of bikers standing around watching the emocore band was quite funny, but obviously they were waiting for the next one. I met this guy from a band called Camellia Rose Tree, experimental rock from what I understood, and we had some friends in common, it seems like a close friend of mine from my old state recently had them play there and he was super happy about it. On December 07 there's going to be an antifascist gig, the band we watched today, Fatigati, is organizing it, Camellia Rose Tree is going to play too, along with three other punk bands.

Some friends didn't show up. They don't feel like leaving their houses. It seems like nobody can anymore. Everyone is so fucking drained. When we rarely meet by chance we mostly talk about how we don't feel like doing shit or going shit nowhere...

Fuck going out. All my homies have social phobia.



* Picture by Daniel Souza Luz.

As I was stopping doing anything and just idling, I decided to check my GOG account to see what I had in there. I've been a pirate all my life, but a few years back I decided to start buying games there because they don't rely on any third-party application to install or launch, and I can have a safe .exe to do whatever I want with it. I only buy games there when they're less than BRL$10 (about USD$2 at the moment), and I had bought Far Cry (2004) some time ago.
I was working in a Lan House when that game came out. I learned from an American friend that those places are very third-worldish and people don't really know what they are elsewhere, but in the 2000s not many people in third-world countries had a computer, and if they did, maybe it wasn't very good, and most people didn't have access to decent internet. So they would go to Lan Houses and pay to use computers. There were lots of people gaming, but also people using social media or just surfing. It was a very fun place to be and even better to work at. We'd often do this thing called "Corujão" (something like "night owling"), where, if enough people signed up, we'd open the place at 22:00 and stay until 06:00 (10PM to 6AM if you're American). So it was an all-night gaming session that I was literally paid to be at... and of course fuck school the next morning, I'd just sleep through the classes.
Anyway, I digress. I remember being very impressed by Far Cry's graphics at the time, but today not so much - and I'm still impressed by Need for Speed: Underground (2003) and Half-Life 2 (2004). Replaying today, I also don't think there's anything particularly engaging in Far Cry's gameplay, and its story... ouch, it's so painfully generic, like a bad '80s action movie that takes itself too seriously - unlike Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon (2013), that one is great.
I beat the game, a bit annoyed by it. Time to play Far Cry 2 (2008), which I bought on GOG at the same time but never played before. Far Cry 2 is actually kinda great in a way. The graphics and gameplay are very good, the story and characters are somewhat interesting, and I found it way more engaging. The atmosphere is also great, and the jamming mechanics led to some very funny interactions and accidents too, but in another way, the game is not so great. It gets exhausting pretty quickly because the maps are too big, the fast-travel options are extremely limited, and the very places you accept missions are far apart - and then they send you even farther. There are enemies at every road intersection, and even if you're in a vehicle and try to just drive through, they'll jump in theirs and catch up. Even if you drive them off the road or make them hit a tree or something, they'll still catch up because the vehicles are faster when they're driving, so you're always forced to stop and kill them. The other problem is how fast they respawn. I was often going from the bar or the town to the nearest antenna to get missions, and I'd have to stop at a roadblock to kill enemies on the way, two minutes later, on the way back, they were already there again and I had to kill them again. Without an XP and skill system there's no real incentive for this pointless combat - yeah, I could sneak through the woods and avoid being spotted, but it takes longer than just killing them. Combat gets very, very repetitive.
With more fast-travel options and longer enemy respawn times, this game would have been top-notch.

Damn, my microblogging is really missing the micro part.

For the last four years I've been consuming media very methodically to tackle my ever-growing Plan to Read/Watch/Play list, and for the past ten months I've been watching movies nonstop. Since I decided to stop my main blog and page, I gradually slowed my rhythm until it finally came to a halt. I currently have about 200 movies on my HDD waiting to be watched, but as I drift through daily life anxiety and frustration, which honestly makes me feel embarrassed when I read other people's blogs here, I decided to just "procrastinate" (on my entertainment consumption... somehow...) and kind of went back to mindless gaming. For now, I guess most of what I'll be posting here will be thoughts about the games I've been playing lately, or just use this as a diary - perhaps I should have left this entry for the end of the day instead of the middle of it.



Entry 02:

Sometimes I look at other sites I follow and find them criminally underappreciated. I mean, how the hell am I gaining on psychicnewborn in views? How the hell do I have almost double the views of Gold Hill Mall? KuroiOS is another fantastic site that barely gets any views. It's not just that they've been here way longer than I have, they're beautiful projects with tons of content that the owners put a lot of work into. One thing they have in common, though, is that they dwarf me in followers.
So I've developed a theory: what's getting me views is the fact that I have a real picture on my index page (did you know that if you click it, it changes?), and you're all damn curious to see what I look like... although I guess I'm not showing enough to get followers lol
Well, what did I do? I'm being a whore and putting those pictures on this page too since I'll be updating it way more often - and I'll show my hairy chest when I reach 100 followers \o/

... no... I won't... or will I?
... fear what hairy thing I might show if I reach a thousand...

It's been weeks since I started thinking about making a microblog here, but I'm always too lazy to actually do it... obviously the motivation only hits when it's time to sleep, and I'm still deciding if I'm going to link it on my main page or not - but I'm liking the idea of people only being able to see it being updated on Neocities. Anyway, I'm only getting the page ready, and for now enjoy my selected screenshots :)